Last Day of the Year

Today marks the last day of the year. Time has past exceptionally fast for me and indeed my capacity has increased loads this year. In the coming year, I will be moving to a new blog... Yes, again... But probably for the last few times. I did not put in the year in the next blog address... There are lots more i wanna say abt 2008. But probably not now... Lots done... A very eventful year indeed... 2009 will be better...

http://lifetogetherforever.blogspot.com/ Not up yet, but next post shld be there...

Thank GOD for an understanding Dear...

Dear is back... But I not very free to spend time with him... He has been so sweet and I feel quite bad that I cant accompany him... He comes to meet me almost every day after work to fetch me home. Waits for me to finish my work or when boss releases me. Helps me to run errand for gift exchange...

And especially during such a stressful period of time... When I thot that Oct closing completed can breathe a bit... Then need to rush schedules... Rush finish le thot can relax a bit then need to close Nov... God, help me to be so so so efficient with my time so that I can finish lots in a short short time...

And I really thank God for Ken... Supporting me in all these... Feel so loved and supported... Cant survive without him... :) Turn to ur neighbour n say 'THANK GOD FOR KENNETH' Hahaha... ;)

Dear is back

Yeah... Dear is back... Went to airport to pick him up last nite... Hee... Put on some weight le... Hahaha... Me eating only 1 meal in sg and he eats like a king in aust... See la... Ok... Perhaps this will give him more motivation to go n work out to lose the pounds... Yeah...

So much things to think abt and settle together... Now that he's back, it's time to get started... Yep yep... Da feng chui... In all aspects of my life... Nt easy but I feel it's better for all... So life hasnt been a bed of roses... Lots of adjusting to do... Hahaha...

Been so convicted on sat... Abt what Pst Zhuang shared in prayer meeting... Wonder where he got that video from... And the things he spoke abt. Being positive and all... Ya, i believe it truly affects ppl who read ur blog... So I'll make a decision to put more +ve things on my blogs.

Yes, not easy cos there are lots of struggles which one goes thru. But I think it's a choice what to you want to blog abt. And knowing that there are ppl out there who read ur blogs, why not let everyone have a better day after reading ur entry... Knowing that someone has been victorious in overcoming their struggles and obstacles... It gives faith to others to overcome...

I want to be someone who helps others... Someone who cares... Someone who sees... Someone who loves... God, help me to enlarge my heart n my capacity...

Update Finally

hahaha... Been MIA recently cos have been really buried with work. Didnt even have time to check my emails n all... Now that it's more or less than... Can breathe a bit n blog...

Been working in church for the past 2 months. Living life to the max. Working harder than I've ever been before. But I see the light. AHahaha... At least now that most of the entries are in, can take a breather and continue with the normal daily operations le.

It feels like I'm in this place for the longest time. I think I spend more time in suntec than at home or anywhere else. Most of my colleagues also work hard so it's pretty easy to work. Hahaha.... We all work hard together. Hope that this coming week will be better. I guess it will be... BUT... Dear is not ard.

Miss him really badly. Things havent been easy-going... Lots of things happening in the CG, but cant tell him... Cos he having holiday and I wanna him to enjoy it. So I have to carry this burden myself. Feel so sad.

Like as if missing him wasnt enough... Haiz... But well... At least after this trip, I think the next one we'll go together le... Looking forward to the honeymoon... This will be the 1st time that we can officially go overseas alone!!! 1st time... And finally... No need to fit into other ppl's schedules and all le. Lots of things to settle before that...

Buying ring, finding bridal studio n all... So many decisions to make in such a short time. A bit breathless... And on top of all these, still must manage workload, ministry n cg n all... I think my capacity really stretched til siao... I thot year end, can relax a bit le.. Who knows, the end is really better than the beginning... Hahaha... It's also abt time to sit down and start planning goals for next year le... Looking forward to 2009. It's going to be another very very exciting year and a change in my marital status by the end of it. WAHAHAHA.... I think I dreaming too much le... But I really looking forward to married life...

Who knows where we will be staying, who knows what we will be doing then, how many ppl be in our cg, how many ppl be under our care, in our circle of influence, how many friends we have, close friends... Who knows? But I know that I will be happy if I am with my dear... And I know it's true for him as well...

Meng says absence makes the heart fonder... Hahaha... Haiz... Trying to keep myself busy nowadays so that I wont think of him so much... So that's why I'm in the office on a mon which is supposed to a public holiday... Yeah... Keep my mind occupied. Yep yep... Dun even dare to count down to him coming back... Dun wanna think abt it. Just live each day as it is. I think this week will pass pretty quickly. Think I will head home after work everyday to get back my beauty sleep... Heh... Then sat gt outreach to sentosa... Then svc... Then PM.... Then I think by then, i will head home n KO le... Sun hopefully can sleep in again... Then got dinner... Then dear will be back le...

I just hope that I dun have more n more problems each day... And that this week will be a breeze... God grant this 1 little wish of this little girl... THANK YOU ABBA!!!

At the airport again...

Me sitting in Macs in T3... Waiting for Ken to knock off... Tired... Been in this area for the longest possible time... I was staying in the crowne plaza hotel the last few days... Didnt really use their amenities at all cos was practically working or sleeping... quite nice room la...

Asia conference is over! Need to rest a lot.. Think my voice partially gone also... Dunno why cos i didnt scream a lot leh... Think too tired... Hahaha...

1 more hour to go... then he will be free to go... Hmmm... wanna go walk ard a while while... Feeling sleepy leh... but lugging my bags ard seem a little tedious... i think i will go get a trolley soon... soon... waiting for my hp to finish receiving the songs... then can shut down n go le...

Sleepy

sleepy... period.

At Airport

I'm at the airport now... Using my hp to blog cos woke up especially early to go breakfast with dear... So he dropped me off at airport before going office... Me leaving soon.... Office doesn't open til 9+, so no point going so early.. Tired... Zzzzzzz...

We recently invested in 5 jigsaws... Hee... All mickeys... Pcs are 2000, 1000, 300, 108 n 204. N guess what? We've completed the 3 smaller ones in abt 4 hours in all! Haha... It's fun! So to date, we have 8 disney puzzles. 5 done, 2 soon to be done... It's so exciting... Hahaha...

Congratulations to Rachel

yeah! Rachel passed! Hee... So happy for her... She has been working hard to get it... As for me... think really need to find time to practise la... Haiz... Time time... Been meeting dear these few days... Quite happy... Hee...

Oh Ya... Forgot to do something last nite... Haiz... Must set reminder... So many things to remember man... God help me!!! Haha.... An update in the next post... Cos this post is dedicated to RACHEL!!! :)

Birthdays

Birthdays... There are so many birthdays round the corner... Even in my dept as well... N also in the office... Hmmmm... So many Nov babies... Hahah... Yep... Was just reading Meng's post on birthdays... ya, Meng was telling me that 2 of her friends fell out with each other some days before the bday... So sad... Haiz...

But even as we celebrate bdays, i begin to look back n think abt the attitudes we carried when we were younger... We were all fighting to do bday cards n plan bday celebrations for the ppl in the cg. Especially so for ppl who have touched our lives, spent time discipling us. We just want to be the one who plan the celebration, get the card done n present n do a great and memorable one for the person who have sowed into our lives.

Times have changed... And it's so sad.. The attitudes that our ppl carry now is so haiz... All shrinking responsibilities... It's always the same old ppl thinking of the celebration, making sure that everything runs smoothly... Card, cake, present all bought n practical... This is so sad... I cant help but think what I can do to bring back that attitude... THat willingness to serve... That love that we have for the ppl ard us... Why is it so hard to love ppl now? OR what has happened? This attitude is spreading... N it's bad... Real bad... Anyone out there have any remedy?

Love cannot be forced, Love is a decision and a choice. It is not easy. Cos u need to think of others at the expense of self. But love can change the world... Just like how God changed it. We can do it too... Just by loving a little more... A little more at a time... The world will be a better place... The ppl will love to come n join us... our cg... I'm sure of that. IF we all can just do our part to love a little more... ... ...

Angel from heaven.....

Hahahhaa... I was working in church after svc on sat... was feeling a little hungry when svc ended... Cos ate only cup noodle or rather bowl noodle for lunch... Kekeke.... Then went up to 4th floor n saw that they were giving out some food... I went to get... Heh... It was meant for the pre-svc PM ppl but announcements were not made, so there were lots of food left over...

Then while eating that... Simon brought some fruits over! And later seow ping brought a chicken mayo sandwich over... So healthy! Hahaha... but truly I was very blessed by their gestures. I was feeling quite stressed and sian that I failed my driving again... Then they were really like angels sent to lift up my spirit... I was much happier after eating n felt refreshed...

I began working... Although it was noisy, but i thank God for concentration. I finished 1 schedule there that day with lots of tabs... HAhaha... And sent it out before I left the place to airport to fetch dear dear... Gave him a little surprise by being there... Thank GOd that I didnt miss him... Hahaha... Yeah... Starting to miss dear le, even though we spent the whole Sun together... Hmmmmm... And we bought puzzles!!!!!!!!!!! Cost us 200++!!! But we bought 5 puzzles! Think it's a good investment... All disney one... So happy.... There's something we can look forward to when we're free...

Back to those days where we can just laze at home n complete puzzles... We have 3 completed so far that we did together... plus these 5 will be 8 le... Plus some of others which i have n he has will be so many le... Looking forward to our new house... Then we can decorate the wall with our prized possessions... Wahahaha... So fun!

Accidents

Last nite I witnessed another accident, or rather the aftermath of an accident. A taxi n a lorry were involved. And I would think that the impact was quite strong cos it was on PIE. The 3 lanes became passable only by 1. Can imagine the impact... The front of the comfort taxi was crashed quite badly... The ambulance overtook us n stopped there... Realised the accident took place not too long ago...

When I saw that a taxi was involved. I muttered a prayer... My dad also drives taxi at nite. Haiz... So scary... Why do i see so many accidents a few days before I take my test?!?!?! God is really testing my faith man... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

I've started work in my new place for a month+... Time passed so quickly here... But lots of things done as well... Cos I've been putting long hours to it... Not that the hours are really long, but i chose to stay back, to clear my stuff... God's strength n grace be with me to sustain me thru the rest of the year...

I need to set aside some time to evaluate myself... It's year end le... Dunno how many days left to 31st Dec, think ard 50 plus... So fast! But this year my life has been full of changes... Well... Just hope that everything will turn out fine...

Car accident

Last nite i went for my driving lesson... Restarted it... After the last test on 1st Aug... Havent driven for almost 2 months! Hahaha... Quite alright la... But I witnessed an accident... So scary... Thank God I was the 2nd car at the junction... Not the 1st. I wouldnt know what to do if I had seen the whole thing... Was a little traumatised by it... But ok la... My instructor was with me...

What happened was a red car was turning right into the lane beside me. Then there was a bike going straight ahead of me, horizontally from my right to my left? Then think the bike was too slow n the car was too fast? so the car hit the bike n the front right side of the car. the front thing dropped out n was dragging on the road as it completes the turn. Some fluid was flowing out also... My instructor says it's just water... The rider flew off the bike but he was still conscious... He tried to stand up but can see him struggling... The driver in front of my car got out to help... I missed one traffic light cos of this accident. The red car driver parked n got out n walked over. Think she was shaken too... The rider seems like an Indian man... I didnt stay for long... Just drove off after the car in front of me moved off... I think I ran over a nail... My instructor had to get out n check and removed the nail a few 100 metres away...

Are female drivers really bad at driving? It does scares me to a certain extent... Haiz... God, give me faith that I will pass this round... Not much time to practise... Zzzzzzzzzz.... God, guide me... Help me, lead me...

I want to be more efficient

Haiz... I feel that I havent been working very efficiently... Feeling very pek chek.... God give me wisdom n efficiency to complete my work quickly...

Positive confessions

Was really impacted by what Pst shared about over the weekend... As we meditate on the things which ppl speak to us n believe in our hearts that this is to be so, it'll surely come to pass. Similar to the self-fulfilling prophecy... And the crystals that might be formed by our bodily fluid... I am curious to find out what my crystals are like now... Hee...

Anyway, i was talking with dear and we conclude that we're going to call into existence the things which we want. a nice house, we'll be able to get it at a good price... A growing cg, where every member is committed to growing spiritually, every member is ready to be a discipler but yet still humble to be discipled. we're going to see things thru eyes of faith... Thru God's eyes... Truly the starting is not easy as we will normally fall back on our flesh, but I pray as I make this decision, God will help me. Holy Spirit will remind me. Think positive, stay positive, speak positive. HAVE FAITH!!! Let's do this together... I think it helps! :)

Busy

HAhaha... realised that it's been so long since i blogged... taking a break from the tasks that need to be completed very very soon. Rather by yesterday... Oops... But grace grace... God is good, we managed to get extension from my boss... hahaha... Stressed man... God, give me wisdom, help me to spot the difference and how to do it in the most efficient way...

It's a really nice envt, the ppl here are spiritual, mostly... hahaha... u can hear ppl start to pray or cry out JESUS HELP ME when the stress sets in or when the dateline draws near... HAhaha... My dept ppl very helpful too... Nice ppl...

The thing which is really different is the lunch time... the ppl here are real 'xian'... they usually eat lunch at 2 plus... hahaha... sometimes even in the late afternoon... i've learnt to work with this lifestyle also. buy breakfast on way to work then lunch at 3, 4 or 5pm, then dinner is skipped out just some drinks like soya bean... think with this kind of lifestyle, i think i can slim down... hahhaa... i hope soon...

started to plan for my wedding le, but very started also... hahaha... i think the dates quite fixed le... 19 n 21 sep 09... yep... so guys, start training up... Gals, it's time to think of tegans... hahaha.... Looking forward to it le... Hee...

My agent Faith called me yesterday... She asked how come decided to bring forward the wedding by a year? Wanna give birth le? Hmmm... I thot n told her, i think it's time to move on... Been paktoring for too long le la, wanna try something new... living together!!! hahaha... True mah... Yeah...

New beginning

Just started work in my new office. It's a nice place to work in, the ppl are nice, friendly. But there's a subtle pressure to perform. This pressure doesnt come from external sources, but internally generated. Cos u just want to do well, do your best to serve God. So just trying to learn the ropes asap and also think of ways to improve the whole work process, to make it more efficient and all.

Havent found the time to really blog cos lunch time is short and everyone's working so hard. And Ken just commented that I havent blogged so long, so decided to put in a few lines... Going to restart my driving soon. But instructor going overseas. So starting only at the end of the month. I got to pass this time round man, so many times le, so ex also... Broke le... God this is the last time to pass le. make it happen for me...

A tai tai lifestyle

Today has been an enjoyable day thus far... Woke up super early and accompanied dear to work then travelled all the way back to highlight my hair. it ended earlier than expected so went home to nap. Came out to get hp screen protector then went for pedicure at wax in the city at raffles place area. They got wifi, so blogging now... Prob later will pop over to jav's to say hi... Then meet rachel for dinner then discipleship meeting tonight... Wahahahaha... Tml starting work le... Exciting!!!!

A rest day today...

Am at Ken's place again... Since morning... Haha... I decided that it's going to be my rest day today and ken's also... So made him cancel his guitar lesson with xing and spend some time with me before I start work on tue. Tml will be a busy day... Going to colour my hair then pedicure and discipleship session at nite... Yep... Then tue going to start work le... Zzzzzz... So fast!!! Haha...

But ok la, expected it le... And quite excited to be learning new things all over again... I using my hp to blog cos ken's mom mopped the floor so I decided to stay on the sofa til the floor dries, so use my hp to surf net lo... Hee...

Congratulations

yeah!!! I'm free!!! I've served my notice and am out of my company le... Ken was so funny. He sent a bouquet of flowers to my office to congratulate me... My colleagues were so jealous... He's so sweet... I thot the flowers will come in last fri during my bday, but it came in on my last day instead,.. caught me by surprise... Ha... The little errors here and there are cos i nt used to this phone yet, so bear with me for the time being til I get used to this... Upload one of the photos taken with this hp... Heh... Fun toy!!!! Haha...

E71

yeah! I got my E71 phone. Decided to pamper myself a little and got a more high tech hp. So am at ken's place now, blogging via his wireless lan connection. This is just so cool! Haha... Call me mountain tortoise whatever, but am quite happy with this new toy, though not very proficient in using this hp yet, but so far so good. lots of things to explore... heh... When I get to go online then I'll blog more at the phone ba... :)

Reflecting

A new phase of my life has started... I'm 25!!! Passed the half way mark of 20 le... Been in church for the past 8 years +, really felt that my life has been blessed ever since that day... It was not smooth sailing, but I was nvr alone. Everything I have now, is given by God... Amazing!!! I would nvr have come so far without Him!!!

Going to start work in a new envt soon, in 2 week's time. Looking forward to the new life and totally excited abt it... Ken was saying I should go shopping soon, change my wardrobe... Heh...

This adventure is going to get more fun... Exciting life! :)

25th Birthday (II)

Bday messages for Keepsake...

12:00:27am Dennis: Hey hui qin!! Happy birthday!! =)
12:12:55am Shaun: Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to HUI QIN! Happy Birthday to you!
May this bday bring BLESSINGS of every kind!
- Bruce, Shaun & nigel
12:45:38am Wanyun: Happy birthday gal! Hee =)
01:46:28am Yuanxing: Hui Qin, happy birthday! Haha. Lol. Happy birthday ah.
03:17am Jean: http://doggiepawprints.blogspot.com/2008/09/for-beanie.html (A blog entry)
05:44:09am Weijun: Yoz, happy birthday! Enjoy your day n stay cheerful always..)
06:03:21am Cheng Li: Happy birthday! The present is from jonathan and me... Hope u enjoy
08:39:05am Kenneth - He called to wish me happy birthday...
08:51:49am Javiny: Happy birthday qin! :) thanks for many years of love n friendship. Have a blessed day!
09:24:20am Lay Kuan: Happy Birthday Hazy!!!!!! :)
09:58:45am Kgoon Liang: Happy bdae huiqin! Till your nxt bdae, may your year shead be filled with more joy than ever before. Joy in gd times, joy in bad time; joy when u're at work, joy when u're with friends. Joy in relationships and joy in new things. Above all, may your joy in God be more than ever before!
10:58:41am Juner: Huiqin! Happy birthday from 4 of us! May you have a really great n happy year ahead as you prepare to be a beautiful bride! Hee!
12:01:48pm Jan: happy birthday huiqin =)
12:16:38pm Laimeng: Hahaha! Happy birthday! Lol :)
09:00:00pm Mummy: 生日快乐 事事顺利
09:37:40pm Huiqi: Hihi! Happy birthday and many many happy returns! :) May God bless you forevermore. Hope it's a great birthday! Love ya love ya muacks! Lots of well wishes ^^
12:32:14am Weiyan: Hi qin! Happy belated birthday!! U must've tot I forgot rite? Haha.. Eh.. I've decided to b special n wish u hald an hr aft.. Haha. Anw may all ur wishes come to pass! Quick quick! Get married soon! I'll help u look after baby! Haha.. Hope u enjoyed urself on such a special day.. Tx for being such a lovin sister n friend to me.. U've really made a difference in my life.. Tho we no longer in same cg.. But I left a piece o my heart w u when i left cg.. Hee.. Must take care o it k? Luv ya! Muacks! Hugs! :)
01:20:20am Nicholas: Anyway, happy belated bday! Was it what you expected at cell. Haha.

Note that these do note include the ppl who wished me in person... :)

25th Birthday (I)

Celebrations started last sat... With my family... Went to eat at the boon lay rajah restaurant at the boon lay branch... Food was quite alright... One of the few times my family gather together for meal... So quite good la...

2nd one was on Sun nite with my ministry leaders and partners... We went to melting pot to eat... There was 1 for 1 promo... So quite worth it la... Also nice company and a cake to sum it all up...

3rd one was a bday dinner on Mon nite with Ken's mom at Marina Square... Went to eat at dian xiao er... Food was nice... :)

4th one was the one in the previous post, by my colleagues... Friends have been nice, sending lots of smses, calls, even entry on blog!!! Thank you thank you... Touched...

I think there's going to be some more celebrations tonight... But well, I think I'm not surprised by non-colleagues in office...

Saw 2 ppl carrying flowers from the reception today... Well, Ken says we shld save the money to get married... So no flowers... No delivery... Nvm... He's not really a romantic guy, a more practical guy I would say... So ok la, I can understand... I prefer his company though... :)

Will post up the SMS bday wishes in my next post... So that I can keep a record of them... A keepsake, cos my hp is going soon... Giving out weird sounds and bad transmission, etc...

Blown away

Just had a bday celebration in office... So paiseh... Hahaha...

Hmmm... Am still doing my secondment... Then a group of friends from a previous engagement came and sing birthday song for me... Brought a cake too... Then one of the Managers in this seconded dept heard them and sang very loudly... Faints... Then he said it was too soft, so resang the song again!!! Faints... In english then chinese...

then they realised another gal in their dept also having her bday today... So sang again for her...

So we just finished the cake... A choco cake from sweet secrets... LK went to IP to buy... It's an amazing feat cos she always say IP is super far... Then she went to Ya Kun to buy drinks for me... Which is on the other side... So she walked really really far... Hahaha... Thank you thank you... Really appreciate you all lots!!!

Today time flies, it's already almost 5pm!!! The work day is ending soon... Went to Uncle Sam for lunch... Finally got to try their claypot rice... ok la... Svc was quite fast, food was hot, so quite shiok la... Then just run here, run there, collect things and all... Think today has been a real short day, or rather a day which time flies past... More celebrations coming...

Ermz...

Just read Ken's new post... So fed up with him... Act cute huh? :p

Showed my colleague, she laughed... And said I like ur friend's humour... Then I told her it's my bf... And she ermz... Ok, but quite true la... Haiz... Wat is happening to the guys of this generation??? Why are their thinkings so warped...

One obsessive guy been pouring his heart out to me n one other gal... Then not even sure if the feelings for the gal he likes is mutual? I find that it's really a waste of time talking to him nowadays... Maybe cos he doesnt really listen to wat I say, more like i just want u to listen, but i'm not going to take ur advice... Haiz, stop wasting our time la... We got more urgent things on hand to do...

And stop hinting me abt wat I'll be getting on my bday... I've been ard for so long, I know wat is going on... Can you stop making it so so so obvious? It's getting on my nerves la... I mean I appreciate u for helping to coordinate and plan my bday celebrations, but I dun need you to come and tell me things like "make sure u go to work on ur bday", "make sure you come for CGM on that day", "Make sure u not going overseas on that day"... Haiz... Can I have a little surprise??? Like as if things done subtlely I dunno like that? It's childish la... Haiz... Grow up!!! Grow up guys!!!

Hope again...

Was just worshipping God... Think my feeling now is disappointed... But God just told me to hope again... Have hope, bring hope to the ppl ard me... I can do it... But I got to pick myself up 1st... Yep... I got to go pick myself up...

Haiz...

I dislike talking abt this... Always makes me flare up... Irritating... Thot this should be something done together? Why do I feel like I'm the only one settling this by myself??? Facing the parents, negotiating the terms... So pek chek... Haiz...

Blessed...

Just came back from toilet and found $2 note on my laptop... According to the colleague sitting next to me, it was on my seat and he just put it on my laptop instead. Am pretty sure it's not mine, but well, finders keepers... So just thank God that HE blessed me with a $2 note... Yep, great way to start the week huh? Heh...

Just had dinner with my nursery svc IC last nite... So blessed... They gave me a visa card!!! Apparently this card has a stored value inside and it can be used at any shop which accepts visa... So cool... So I can go shopping le... Need a new pairs of sports shoes to motivate me to work out more... Heh... Havent gone shopping though...

Oh ya, then Aunty gave me smthg from GUESS... I was wow! Think she gave me a belt from there last year also... Wow! And I opened it and it's a wallet!!! Didnt take a photo of it, but it sure has lots of card slots! Wow! and i didnt tell her i want a wallet... She's powerful!!! Hahaha... Yep yep, so these are the 3 presents I've gotten and there're more to come...

Think I going to get a Nokia E71... Yeah!!! Costs $338 on promo... Hee... :)

Grieved

I am sorry... I realised that I've been putting ppl down with my words. I really didnt mean to hurt you. I only realised that I shouldnt have said those things after those words exited my mouth... I feel that the Holy Spirit was grieved at that instance and I felt upset with myself too. So just want to apologise to all the ppl whom I've been putting down, discouraging, demeaning... Whether it's consciously or sub-consciously... I'm truly sorry...

I will remind myself not to do it again. So pls help me... Remind me if I forget...

I really really am sorry. Pls forgive me k? I dun mean to hurt anyone... Sorry sorry...

Disappointed

We went out for dinner last nite, late dinner, 8+ then managed to meet up and were really disappointed... We went to the Chong Qing Huo Guo at Kallang area one... The row of shophouses between Kallang MRT station and the PA, but opp the bus interchange? Yep, went to this one cos it's cheaper... Some were 16.80, so this one was 13.80? but we were really disappointed la. There's meat, fish, crab and all, but not nice lo... Then soup base, one spicy, the other think chicken soup? The spicy one was yucky, like chilli oil and dried chilli added to the chicken soup.

We had a disaatisfied dinner aft one long day of work... Then we went home... At 1am, i went to the toilet and had diarrhoea!!! Haiz... Then I went back to sleep... Was just talking to Ken this morning and realised that he also had diarrhoea, but only in the morning... Think my body couldnt take the yucky food... Yep, so I went to see doc n got MC to rest today... Yep... So dun go back there hor... Horrible food and horrible hygiene... Haiyo... Waste my money... N my poor body...

29 units sold today

It's moving so fast... 29 units sold in 1 day, the flats are being snapped up so fast now... I wonder if we get a chance to even choose... God, reserve a high flr room for us!!! Haiz... It's so difficult to get a flat, how to get married younger n have babies??? Xing says he might have children earlier than me... Just wondering how possible is that? Hahaha... He is a bro with great faith la...

Ken is so busy at work, earning money.... I feel like I'm unemployed beside him... Everyday he has to travel so far to work and come back so late. I wonder next time when we get married le, will it still be the same? He seems so stressed out and I dunno what I can do to help... And we're trained in different fields, I cant help him do his work and he cant help me with mine too... Not like last time back in school, where we can copy each other's notes... Hmmmm, rather he can copy my notes... Hahaha...

I'm just waiting in the office now for time to pass. Today has been quite a long day cos I'm still in office now... Hahaha... Hmmmmmm... Reached at 9, now 630 --> 8.5 hrs of work le. But Ken reached office at 7am and is still working now. So I got no complains la... He more zai than me... I look up to him... Dear, u're the strongest!!!

Hahaha... Physically quite tired... My throat hasnt been good, inflamed tonsils? Dunno if that's called that... u know there are like 3 things which u can see at the back of ur throat when u open ur mouth? one on top like a u and another 2 on its left n rite? my left n rite ones are swollen, perpetually swollen these few weeks... Think I've been talking too much... With counselling that stretches to 3am and new friends to meet up n go extra svc with and pm and all... It's taking a toil on my throat... I shld rest more, talk less... Dun call me... Hmmmm, can call me, but u do the talking... Hahaha... Yep yep... I want to go out, but yet dunno where to go also... haiz... headache ah... bored...

Wedding - it's so stressful

Hahaha... Even as we start to plan for it... suddenly realised the many many decisions which we have to make, and these are just made once in a lifetime kind. Hmmmmmmm, not the person that i'll be marrying la... But things like where to hold the dinner, restaurant or hotel. which day? how many ppl to invite...

the choices are endless... and my headache also endless... too many to choose from!!! zzzzz.... stressed man... plus needa meet the needs of parents... n ken... zzzzzzzzzz.... God, you got to come in n help, dun want relationships to turn sour cos of this joyous occasion...

Attitudes a good helper needs to have

I was sharing with Tim n Xing some attitudes a good helper must carry... So thought of putting here, you can use if you want... :)

As the church grows, we all need to rise up, to bcome helpers of the cell group to contain the growth. So we need to work closely with our leaders, know the vision of the church, the cell group. We all need to become a helper to our leaders.

So we need to carry 4 attitudes. (note that this list is not exhaustive, but personally I feel that they are the most impt)

1. We need to honour our leaders.
1 Tim 5:17
Our leaders, esp CGLs are worthy of double honour. We got to give them what is due to them. Protect their reputation, shield them from arrows and dun sabo them. We all got to have the fear of God in our lives and also reverent the man of God.

2. We need to understand our leaders.
The bible says how can 2 walk together unless they agree? So how can we work together with our leader unless we agree, unless we flow with them? We need to know the heart of our leader. The things which he is passionate about, urgent about, uptight about, the things which he likes, dislikes...

So how can we know the heart of our leader?
We got to be the ones pressing into their lives, taking the initiative, spending time with the leader, fellowshipping.
We got to pray always for our leader cos we communicate spirit to spirit. We got to observe and learn. The Holy Spirit will help us. (1 Jn 2:27)
We got to remain teachable, quick to change.

3. We need to support our leaders.
Encourage him, pray for and with him also also be with him, running the race together. The things which are delegated to us, do them well, with an excellent spirit...

4. We need to love our leaders.
Love covers all. 1 Thes 3:14
With love you will go all the way for ur leader, know wat to do and say at the right time.

The bible is a book of love... God's love for us...

Heb 13:17 Highlight this verse!!! Make it a point for our leaders to disciple us in joy, a breeze, something enjoyable for them...

No time to elaborate... But the main points are here le. Hope that you'll meditate and have some revelations on how to be a good helper to ur leader. Be one who is ever-ready to go...

Upset

Haiz.... Just ganna scolding from 2 different group / ppl one after another... Zzzzzzzz.... Feeling so upset, but haiz... Guess it's part n parcel of life... Was just chatting with my friend that I'll ren... I can tahan one... Then after that faints man... Ganna scolded by 2 ppl!!! Not one but 2!!! It felt like u think u can ren??? Haiz... Felt so irritated... But well, it's over... And I am still alive... Hahaha... So what cant kill u will make u stronger... I feel that I am stronger... I can withstand questionings now... I used to detest it lots n will avoid them at all costs... Guess that's not the way to deal with things... Avoidance is a coward way of handling things... I need to face things. Stop being a coward Qin...

Well... I will... I will work on this area...

Anyway, this afternoon there was a paging for me to go to the reception... I used to think that it's to collect documents, flowers, presents all those things, but I realised that it's not... Some clients will come and look for u and the receptionist will page you to come and take care of your own client... So ya lo, i was so naive... But I always like to be paged to go receive gifts... hope i can get another surprise before i leave... wahahah... **hint hint** hahaha...

I was telling my friend that i received flowers once... From dear... think 2 years back ba... think 8 years anniversary ba... So sweet... I wanna get called to receive presents... Hahaha... Go order present then ask them to deliver to me in office huh? Lame... Ok ok... Just imagine mah... hahaha... Entertain my own thoughts.... Kekekeke....

Refreshed...

I went to powerhouse just now... Was praying for God's love to fill me once again so that it'll be easy to love the ppl ard me and work on integrating them... And also prayed for word for this season of my life...

In Eph 6:5 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6 not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. (NKJV)

In my everyday work, this will be the attitude which I am going to work with now... it's been quite a drag to go to work each day as i do not know wat to expect... but guess now, with this word, it might be easier to go to work each morning...

Met Jean just now, bought her a tub of Ben n Jerry's... Hee... SO timely, she finished hers last nite... Wahahha... And so much for helping her to lose weight huh? hee... Yep, her bday tml... so it was early birthday presie for her... Yep...

I also prayed for amount to give for the upcoming BF... Especially when I'm trying to save for my wedding... Wow! Amazing... I hope that God will confirm the amount again... I pray that I'll be blessed mightily as I obey in faith... I think I'm going to outdo myself again... Hmmmm... A great challenge, so need more confirmations... Hahaha... Dun wanna hear wrongly... Heh...

3.5 more weeks to go... God help me... Keep me busy... But to enjoyable work??? And also no OT if possible??? Heh... I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me! Hee.... Counting down...

Emotional Roller Coaster

Been feeling as if I'm on an emotional roller coaster recently... Maybe cos of the upcoming changes that are going to happen in my life. Looking forward to it, but on the other hand, a little fearful cos it's a totally new area? And I have been giving myself mental pressure that I need to perform there... Haiz... I think no one understands that kind of butterfly feeling in me now... I shouldnt be feeling this way, I know I should have peace. Hmmm... Yes, there's peace but still that jittery feeling still exists.

Ken has been asking me questions like tell me how u feeling, wat u thinking... My mind just went blank... Haiz... I wanna talk, I wanna share, but there seems to be so much change that it feels a little overwhelming... Haiz... Why why why? Weird...

Anyway... I wanna get married soon... Feel overwhelmed by the idea also... Hahaha... Maybe we'll bring forward by 1 year!!! Hmmmm, it means next year... Faints... Dunno wat to do to get started... Overwhelmed... I wanna get off the roller coaster... Zzzz.... Dun like this... Haiz...

Why am I not sleeping?

Cos it's not my bedtime yet... Haiz... Although got to wake early tml but just not sleepy... Went to 3 diff malls today. 1st 2 for work, 3rd to find my friend who was doing work there. Then I went to walk that last mall cos she nt done. I walked n walked n walked n walked... think abt 4 hrs? or even more... went to their bookshop n bought some cards cos cheap... Heh... Then walked n walked... Ate dinner alone cos she nt done... Can faint... Hahaha...

The malls there are huge! It's like all the expo halls combined? then 2 storeys... the malls are so big they could have an ice-skating rink in the middle? n it's bigger than the jurong east one but it didnt fill up the 'atrium' of the mall? And after walking for 4 hrs +, i didnt finish the mall? Yep... the shops are so widely spaced that to cross over the aisle it takes abt 30 walks? yep... n the mall is not just one aisle kind? there are so many that i was confused... But that's the 3rd largest mall in the world la... hahaha... nice view also, u can walk out to the extension n see the see ard it. it is built on reclaimed land... yep... amazing...

oh ya, i travelled from the most north train station to the most south train station today also... hahha... via cab... costs abt 250peso, which is S$8? ha! their starting is abt $1 and each increment is less than 10cents. So cabs are quite cheap...

Oh ya, I ate krispy kreme yesterday! bought one, they gave a complimentary piping hot one... Shiok! But super fattening... hahaha... Apparently the ppl here eat a lot of sweet stuff... I like sweet things but i find them too sweet le... i think ken will die here... hahaha...

i went to Gerry's Grill for dinner alone jus now. things there are quite ok ba... Normally ppl order rice n liao to eat, i just ate the liao cos not that hungry. I took the blue marlin steak... i think it's a kind of fish? think the one who swam with nemo? hahaha... yep... i killed it... hahaha... but it was nice... shiok... hahaha... i think u can see the pict... delicious... just a little on the salty side, but it's meant to be eaten with rice, so ok la.... costs abt S$10.

I've been to a few restaurants here... 1st nite went to Gubba Gum... Interesting... Mostly shrimp, prawn kinda food. Tue nite went to Italiann... Food was ok, but pretty ex. Today went for lunch at tgif... prices are ok also. normal restaurant kind of price ba, like fish n co that range. i wonder wat to eat tml... think can try jolibee... i think it's a fast food chain here... hope can end super early with little discrepancies to resolve...

Zzzzzzzzzz.... I shld go sleep le... I'll post the photos up... Not that clear cos my hp is dirty... hahaa... nvm, i changing soon... soon... before the end of the yr... same as my job... hahaha... hopefully... yep... stay tuned for more updates on that... Wahahhaa.... Photos for now...

The fork is so big la... How to eat with it?! I used the small one of course. I demure ma... Hahaha....



Presenting the blue marlin steak!!!


A nite shot of that same place...

The name says it all...


The sky from SM Mall of Asia... Beautiful! Too bad I dun have wide angle cam...



The 'jeep-nies'? Small 'buses', super dangerous but cheapest trspt ard. think starts from 8pesos.



Artistic angle??? Hee...



The malls are linked. I can walk sheltered all the way to dunno where, havent tried walking to the end, scared i get lost. hahha...


The mall 20 walks from my hotel's side entrance...


So pretty...


Another angle


Sunset view from my room...



The other donuts which I tried... The one i got was a New York Cheesecake, the choco one is my colleague give me one...


The piping hot glazed donut... Yummy!!!


Kripspy Kreme...

I think the sequence is wrong, shld be bottom up but i lazy to change... Heh... Chatted with the staff today, learnt quite a lot abt Manila n Philippines... Well, their situation abt the same as ours... N the ppl there are nicer... In the sense that they are more helpful, friendly, patient n hospitable! Yes, their streets seem dangerous. Their air is bad... Dun do deep breathing in outdoors. But their ppl are nice... Hahaha... Maybe I get to meet all the nice ppl ba... I'm blessed! Yeah... Ok, bedtime le... Will update soon i hope...

Greetings from Manila...

Here I am in Manila... 1st time coming here... Well, this place is not that bad, as in not that dangerous la... But the air is really bad... But the ppl are polite and nice and patient. Their service is good la...

So why am I blogging at this hour of time... Well, today we finished our work early n have sent in the deliverables. Went to a cheap place to shop... Called 'green hills', not that near, had to cab there, but it was good la...

I bought lots of things... Heh... For my family... haha... A pair of sneakers for my bro, a little miss naughty top for my sis, handkies for my dad, a smartwrap for ken, a body lotion for Ken's mom n a top for denzel. Yep. Think will see if can get some food back. Spent too much le. :p But well, I think I wont be coming back here anytime soon or even coming back, so muz get now... Heh...

Think today is like the only day that we can enjoy... So muz enjoy the rest of today... Tml onwards is back to long hours of work le... I hope i can finish fast fast then can walk ard... Yeah! Be back soon... Fri nite... :)

Bye!!!!!

Hey ppl... I'm at the airport now... Walking ard til it's time to get on the plane... Chanced upon this place that has free terminals for internet access so decided to bid farewell to all before I leave...

This is really the 1st time that I am taking a plane - SQ plane on my own, hmmmm, with one other gal la... But I decided to not meet her before this... Try out doing things on my own... Yep... Am proud of myself... Left home on my own, took bus to the station and then train all the way here... Checked in my luggage... And later, I'll go board the plane on my own... Wished that my friends are here with me, but well, one has to learn to be independent... Heh...

So yep... This year has indeed been an interesting year... And it doesnt end here... I've went to bkk, batam, bintan and also msia in this year... And now to manila... Although it's all still in SEA, but i think this is the 1st time i've left the country so many times... Ken keeps saying that these are not considered chu guo... But well, I think he's jealous... Hahaha... Yeah... So to all my friends, do take care of one another and dun miss me...

it's really a very short trip... back on fri nite... Yep... So do help me take care of Ken... I think he'll be bored... Jio him out and pei him kk? Thanks guys... See ya soon...

this keyboard not nice to use... my wrist very tired... bye...

I'm leaving again....

This time to Manila... Short trip... Dunno why I dun seem to be spending my weekends in spore... Kinda tired... But well, I pray that my capacity will enlarge... And now towards the end of the year... I know that it's going to enlarge even even more... So just stretch me in the last quarter of the year... Slowly God, slowly... Hahaha...

God muz be thinking... This gal ah.. Wanna me to stretch still muz be at her rate... Haiyo... Hahahaha... Ok... I think I'm dreaming too much... Hahaha... Just letting my mind rest and relax a little... Feeling the headache coming cos too stressed...

Well well... On a more serious note... Pls take care of urself while I'm away... Especially my loved ones... If you're free, do give them a call, help me take care of them while I'm away... Not too long... Will be back on fri nite... departing on sun afternoon... So dun miss me too much... hahahaha... well, dun think i'll get anything from there... from wat i see, the schedule seems quite tight... not sure if i'll have any time to shop man... hahaha... Pray for safety for me... and that i'll be well... Yep... so take care... maybe when i'm back, i'll be able to see Nigel!!! Hahaha... If he comes out, pls can someone take the initiative to inform aunty for me??? If not she'll kill me when I return... heh... Oh ya, I got roaming... can still contact me hor...

Brokenness before growth

Finally managed to find some time to blog abt this before I fly off again... Last fri zone meeting, Jeremy shared something so simple what yet so true... Some takeaways from the meeting...

1) How to keep the fire always burning?
A) Word -- Revelation
B) Prayer
C) Holy Spirit
D) Mixing ard with more spiritual ppl (ppl of faith)

2) Where will the church be in 10 years time?
100,000 members worshipping in a stadium...

How can we reach there? We need to grow...

Growth STOPS when all of us become inward looking and self-centered. We cannot allow that to happen. We got to care abt others! How can we overcome inward looking and self-centeredness???

BROKENNESS

A heart that is broken by the grace of God... Having the fear of God.

Cos... ...

Without brokenness, you cannot
1) release the presence of God within you
2) touched by the presence of God
3) be used mightily by God

Make a decision today... That you'll be a steward of your talents and skills given to you by Abba Father... Let the love and generosity flow out of you... Only when the vessel is broken that the fragrance can fill the room... Come before God broken... That without Him, you are nothing and can do nothing... Yes, without Him, I'll lose the purpose of living...

Bintan Trip...

Yep yep... I just came back from my Bintan trip... We stayed in Bintan Lagoon Resort... It was quite relaxing... But the wet weather did dampen our spirits a little and the things which we could do was limited by it... But I slept very well there... The bed was real comfy... too bad i only to to sleep for a nite... Hahaha... I got a room to myself cos my roomie couldnt go as she couldnt finish her work in time for the meeting on Mon...

And weird was that I stayed in 3143... Level 3 of the east wing... I was the only gal in my group staying in the '1' side and only person in the group in the east wing staying on level 3... The rest were mostly on level 4. But I took care of myself well... Hee... Double locked my door everytime I reached back... So am very safe... Hahaha... See photos taken of my room...

View of my room from the front door...


View of my room from the backdoor...


The comfy beds...


The chatting area...


My bathtub...


My toilet...


View of my room with the curtains pulled back...


The 'balcony' area from inside my room...


View from my room's balcony?


Really liked my room, the blue bedsheets and all... The beach was on the other side of the corridor... So I didnt get the beach view, but i took a photo of it while walking to the lobby area for breakfast... Really nice view... But this photo doesnt do justice to it though... Well I took it with my hp... Didnt bring my cam there mah... Heh...

View of the beach from the hotel lobby level...


It was wet wet wet weather when we reached in the afternoon... Couldnt do much, we went to the villa to play games, indoor games, gt to know the ppl better... Yep... Thank God the sun came out on Sun morn so that we could play some beach games... We played captain's ball then beach volley... I dun like volley so didnt play that... I played the captain's ball.. was the one standing on the chair... Our team won!!! Hahaha... We had Jeremy and Ling Teck in our team, they're tall... Hahaha... Anyway, I fell off the chair at the start of the game and landed on the sand... Hahaha... But am ok... I lost my balance while reaching for the ball... Kekeke... Well, it's not that easy standing on a chair put into the sand on the beach lo... And with tall defender standing rite in front of u, it's dangerous... And when they accidentally kick ur chair... Woh... Dangerous man... Hahaha... But had fun... Although it was only 4 min... But our ppl were so tired after it... Too unhealthy le... Hahaha... Thank God I was assigned to stand on the chair... Hee... Dun needa run around... Wahahaha...

Then we washed out and checked out... I went over to my friend's room... The '0' rooms, the west wing... Their rooms more Zen... I dun think i'll go back there... Though the rooms are nice and all, but the hotel was quite inflexible... Didnt allow us to book bus in to bring us out... And with the rain, there was nothing to do... And the cab out costs $22! so ex... I feel Batam more worth it... Heh... Anyway, see photos taken below...

Room 1011...


From the backdoor...


Another angle...


Yep, we then booked a cab and went to pasar ole ole... Cos it seems to be the only shopping place ard... But it started raining and pouring again... Quite sian... But ok la... Last few hrs le... so muz maximise it... Think we took the ferry back and went home straight... too tired le... Reached home washed up and zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Hee... And today is a brand new week... :)

Next post will be on the Fri zone meeting... Didnt have time to blog abt it before I left... Powerful meeting... Those who didnt managed to go... It's such a waste... sad...

A more affordable bday present...

Hahaha... Ok ok, I know what I want le... I want a new wallet!!! Wahahaha... Yep, I just bought one in BKK, but well... It's a little small... Dun have enough slots for my cards... Not credit cards la, more of discount cards, membership cards... So I want a new wallet... A lasting one... The last one which my CG gave me was good... Hee...

Things I muz have in a wallet, coins compartment... Then lots of card slots... Think need to be a long wallet... But not too big... muz be able to fit into my lesportsac bag... hee... Hahaha... Design wise I'm quite alright... But dun want to flambouyant colours... N white... it gets dirty easily... Dun like... Hahaha...

Yep yep... that's abt all... I'll continue thinking... brainstorming for more ideas... This year has been really an enriching year... God is good... :)

How to keep the fire burning???

In every relationship, it's easy to let the fire burn out... But it's impt to let it continue to burn and ever stronger each passing day... Til the day when u pass away... This applies to relationships bet girl n boy n also bet man n God... It's the same... It takes commitment and great love... But the reward is sweet...

It saddens me to see ppl breakup or backslide cos the fire is no longer there... There are times in relationships that u just feel like giving up, feel like you dun want to put in any more effort cos u dun see the reward... But u muz rem that the reward is sweet... It's a journey together... In tough times, you gt to cling onto each other closer and walk thru it together. We all know that tough times is not forever, it's temporary and wat's best is that at the end of the day, you'll be closer with ur partner!

Press on! Persevere on! Hang on! The reward is near... :)

Bad habits movie review

I went to watch this movie last nite alone... Thank God I went alone and paid only $6. Hahaha... An artistic movie... And it started on time... I was a little late and missed a bit of the intro... but ok la, still managed to understand the story... And it was not in English!!! I also dunno wat language, but was just reading the subtitles...

It's mainly abt the story abt a nun... Mainly abt the life when she was in the church... She prayed to God... But her concept is so wrong la... She prayed for God to heal, to stop the rain... Then she torture herself to show God her sincerity... She drank vinegar, ate food with lots of salt, ate trash then fasted til she was warded... Haiyo... My God heals, but not by works... It's by faith! And it's God's sovereignity whether a person will be healed or nt; or whether the rain will stop or not... So wrong man... I pray that ppl in the theatre will know that this is not the way God moves...

Then at the same time there was a plump little girl whose mom is super skinny and she was made to lose wt, cos her mom found her too fat. They went to lots of clinics, paid lots but the gal is still the same... And she was scolded and all... This is so unhealthy... Haiz... In the end, the mom died... Cos she was too skinny... But kept working out and not eating to lose weight... Can faint...

The ending was also very abrupt... I dun understand... But anyway, it was a time of entertainment for that 1 hr 43 min...

Remembrance

I was in CHC Powerhouse @ HOG this morn... I began thinking of my leaders who've shared their lives with me over the past years... Looking back, I've been in church for 8 years! Wow!!! Hahaha... Nothing to boast abt as this is just a small part of the lifetime which I'll be spending in church...

The 1st CGL I came into contact with was Khen Theen... He continues to inspire me. A teacher by profession and a teacher indeed. Always patient and having resources to share... He is always reading a book which is always faith-building! Amazing. I look up to him as my teacher... :)

Then Edwin became my CGL when we multiplied. He taught me the importance of having goals in my life and working hard to achieving them. That period of time was the time which my christian foundations are laid.

Subsequently Javiny took over our CG. During her leadership, I learnt lots... How to be a helper and supporter and encourager... She never fails to encourage me and challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. I love her so much that I want to help her to grow the group... Her vision became mine... She always tell us to be Spirit led. Our CG vision was to be a group of Spirit led believers. She never tells me what to do. Always tell me to pray and seek God for myself and to be led by the Spirit to do the right thing.

It wasnt easy for her to lead our CG as she came in as our new CGL, not someone who rose up within the CG... Yep... But she did great... She was there when i go thru tough times. Always willing to lend a listening ear.

She was the one who trained Ken up to be a CGL. Here he is, 4 years into this ministry. She gave Ken the stronger members during multiplication, and a great helper to her, she gave me to his group. To be his helper instead. Ken has always felt indebted to her... Like she gave him the opportunity and all... Discipled him...

I still remember, there was one day which she asked me to do some PA for her which I turned down cos it was our anniversary... Not exactly anni as in Feb but one of the month's 10th. She was nt angry or upset that I refused to help, but she given bought a $40 voucher for us to go and makan... Ken was still in army then... And I remember that place... Holland Village, English Rose Cafe... I really felt so blessed.

She also blessed us $$$ when we went for our 1st mission trip... That was after we multiplied!!! She's always so giving and I feel she really played a part in ensuring that our relationship works out fine.

She's my sis... An elder sis whom I nvr had... I love her lots and pray for her everyday that her business will do well...

Then we multiplied and Ken became my CGL. Hmmmm... How has it been being in the same CG as Ken? Hmmmm... I guess it's fine... Hahaha... I'm still his helper... I try to relax if the other ppl in the CG are willing to rise up. But I can and will come in and put my hands to the plough and get things done when they arent moving... I train up more disciplers and help disciple the members... Ken treat me as a member of the CG, it's more like us leading the CG together... But he doesnt talk to me abt issues abt me which he feels is not rite or I didnt do things rite... I share this burden with him and encourage him... This has been so for over the past 4 years and I dun think it'll change...

Well... This post is a post for me to remember the leaders (CG side) who have been part of my walk with God... I pray for everyone of them to be ever on fire for God, like how they've always preached to me when I was younger in the Lord... God bless u all... :) Hugs...

Our relationship has matured....

I was lying in bed last nite and thinking of all the things which we have bought each other... He has always been the one who buy things for me... And I usually return by giving him favours, not really material things... Hmmmmm...

Think our 3rd month anni, he bought me a "Garfield" bracelet...
Then that Xmas he bought me a pop swatch watch...

I remember these very vividly cos his "good" buddy told me that he was short of a couple of dollars and borrowed money from him to buy the bracelet... And at Sec 3 these things cost quite a big percentage of our allowances... So was really really moved when he bought these things for me...

Subsequently, he also showered me with presents here and there... A bouquet of flowers during days in SA (v-day)... His friends were stunned... Cos just the day before he just said that flowers are a waste of money... Hahaha... so cute...

He also stunned me with a bouquet of flowers on our 10th anni... 4 days before v-day... He sent the flowers to my office... So sweet... Some ppl thot like v-day brought forward... Hahaha... But well... I still remember... That was my A-10 days... Then my A11 went to tell my MIC then she also came into the cave to talk to me and I think is to purposely look at my flowers one lo... An excuse... Haiz... Hahaha... So funny la...

Dear is a very practical person... He seldom buy flowers cos it's temporary... The latest present he gave me is the ring on my finger... It's really a heavy investment for him... 4-digit!!! Hahaha... I know that my dear really really loves me... I feel so so so blessed... Hahaha... I think all u attached ppl and married ppl are thinking thru all the nice things which ur bf and hubbies had done for u rite??? Hahahha... And those single ones are dreaming and imagining rite??? Wahahaha...

This relationship has gone thru lots... From the time when we are both in school where I've always helped him in... Cos he's too smart... Plays too hard cos he knows he has a gf who's diligent, hardworking... Hahaha... But it's true wat... Hee... Now, we're both working le... Amazing how God maintains this relationship... Really shen qi... Hahaha... My classmates marvel too... He comes for my class outing, I go for his... It's like I'm part of his class and he's mine too... We know each other's friends... We try to get each other to meet our closer friends, in school or work... Yep... Hee... We are a team... If u think of Ken, you'll definitely think of me... and if u think of me, u'll think of Ken... Rite rite??? Hee...

We're stepping closer and closer to our next phase of lives... Dear keeps teasing me that I cant wait to get married... haiz... so paiseh... It's not that I wanna get married soon... It's that I want to be closer to him everyday... Yep yep... Nowadays dunno why, keep missing him so much... He also... This is so weird... Hahaha... We're still trying to figure things out.... After 10 years++ but still have this longing... Really weird... I dun understand and cant explain... I wont try... Hahaha...

A new beginning soon???

Haiz... So sian... I wish I can be on leave everyday... Dun need to do any work... Y 3 years pass so slowly one... Hmmmmm... Not that slow, but the last few months seem so so so long... Haiz... There's got to be more that is out there for me...

And my dear dear... Still adjusting to his new work... Think for this young man, the transition is quite tough cos he has not worked before... Hmmmm... For a long time... He has worked temp as a telemarketeer and also some admin here n there, but not a few months kind of work... I also dunno how I can help him transit faster except to encourage him and support him... I think i said this in my last post... Well, things are still the same... Hahaha...

Been thinking a lot abt this relationship... How we been through these 10 years plus and whether by getting married earlier will be easier for us... We are spending so much time and effort arranging to meet... I was telling him imagine i can just tell him... I go home 1st and wait for u... Rest a bit then when he comes back I can serve him (assume I work shorter hours or my office is nearer home)... He closed his eyes and said smilingly, that sounds good... Hahaha... I wonder if our married lives will be like that.... Hee... Think daydreaming too much... Watching smiling pasta... "wei xiao pasta" It's a love romance serial for teenagers... But it's really funny and I've been really entertained by this couple... Some of the things I see us in it, so maybe that's why I like it... Hahaha... Dreaming... But that gal is too much a dreamer... Imagination super power... I not so kua zhang... hahaha... Yeah...

A year of enlarging indeed

Amazing... This year has really been an amazing year... I didnt know I could do so much... But with God's strength and grace of course... Hee...

I've been waking up early this week... I've overcame my peak period as a snr... I've gotten my CPA... Ermz, soon... Cos I have yet to reach my 3 years, but I've passed my CPA exams... Yeah... And soon I know that i'll get my driving licence by the end of this year as well...

Been spending lots of time with Ken but he still doesnt feel enough... Think cos his work requires lots of thinking... and he's always tired.. so he wants me to encourage him, strengthen him, support him that kind of thing? Yep... Missing him lots n lots... Despite spending so much time with him... Hahaha... Weird...

Even after so many years, we still feel sad when we have to part and go home... Yep... And i've nvr stayed over at his house before... It's the right thing to do... Yep... And to all the attached couples out there... It is NOT alright to stay over at each other's house. So change ur lifestyle. Dun u have ur own bed? Even now when he's my fiance, I dun stay over... And he doesnt come over to stay as well... This is so that we will treasure each other more next time when we are married... Yeap...

Each day I hope that it'll pass faster... Time seems to pass so slowly without Ken ard and too fast when Ken's ard... Haiz... Let's see... 10 years, 6 mths and 8 days... Well, this is short, compared to the no of years we'll be living together for the rest of our lives...

Anyway, I've started to look at ideas of planning our wedding... It wont be so soon, but it's nvr too early to start... Hee... do give me ideas if u have any kk? Hahaha... :)

Touching...

Was randomly surfing the net when I chanced upon this entry... Touching... I hope that Ken will carry me everyday in future too... Hahaha... He sure say I needa lose weight 1st... Haiz...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore ..I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she
presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but
needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable
to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that
everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. >

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite
a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it
hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more . Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart . The small details of our lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,
you just might save a marriage.

- Author unknown -

TGIF

It's friday!!! Period. :)

Time is ticking out...

My predicted death date... Thursday, December 8, 2061... Seems like I'll die earlier than Ken... But that is based on some assumptions, that i'm normal, not optimistic, and wt is overweight... Hahaha... Nvm... Just a bo liao thing to entertain me for a few minutes...

My spirit leaps...

Been going for the morning prayer meetings... it's a struggle to wake up so early cos i'm not a morn person... But my heart is willing... And my mom has been waking me up... cos i set my alarm before she leaves home... So she thot i going office early... so she'll wake me up... heh...

Happy to be in the presence of God every morning... Overcoming my flesh and crying out to God to come and meet me, fill me, be with me thru each day... Luv our psts and church too, every morn will prepare nice nice bf for us... It's a bonus to me... I see our psts also love us lots, will think of our needs and how to meet them.

Most happy is that I can meet my dear every morning... Hee... Love being with him... I think we meet almost everyday... But I miss him even more each day as we part to go work... Hahaha... This is getting mushy... Ok ok... Ya, everyone, it's time to get back to work, or rather start the day of work... Jiayou!!!

Oh ya, CGM changed to Sun morn le... Cant sleep in... :( But well... I can meet God and my CG ppl... N especially my dear... Yeah...

Reflections...

Been taking things slower now... Trying to see things from a higher point of view... Helping to fine tune the ppl around me, who are open to my discipleship... N at the same time, working on my weak areas. Finding feedback from my leaders to improve myself. This process doesnt stop. If it stops or even slows down, it means my heart has grown cold... I pray that this will nvr happen... Like Qi, I got to guard my heart and mind... Doesnt mean that being church for a longer period of time means that I am shielded from all these temptations... Yep...

I went for the morning pm at HOG just now... Reached late, but the whole place was full.... Very nice place, but too small to contain everyone of us... I was standing but I really dun mind... The presence of God was so strong... So easy to get into the presence of God... I was weeping before God... Tears just kept flowing like beyond control.. I met Dev n we prayed for the CG... Can feel that she shares the burden... I pray that more ppl can rise up n be responsible, loving and the whole CG be united... Met a few other leaders there n some friends... Chatted with them n it was great fellowship... Spoke to Kelvin Chua, Rachael, Weemin, Khen Theen (my 1st CGL - a very inspiring man), Pst Tan! Yep, he asked me abt the PM on his way out of the hall. Saw Pst Zhuang, Pst Audrey and Pst Aries as well... Looking at them, it's like looking at a group of ppl who have grown up in the Lord together, closest of friends... I pray that next time when our youths have all started working, we will still see each other in church, and meet up once in a while, all still planted and doing their part for the house of God...

Went for breakfast with Dev at Delifrance then we parted at 10... Hahha... But it was great time spent together... I pray that the things I shared with her, she'll remember and begin to work on them...

Then took a bus to airport and on the way, I was observing the ppl ard me... Quite interesting... I think God's presence has taken away all the fatigue... Yep yep...

Going to meet Rach later... Miss her much... Havent seen her for some time le... I think we'll have fun later... Hahaha...

Was just chatting with Xing on the phone last nite... He just came back from MISSIONS!!! Hahaha... He's indeed a changed man... From the day I 1st saw him in SAJC... Wahahaha....

Was just telling Devina that we've been together for almost a month!!! We came together in Oct... So abt 10 months le... Time really flies... N the dynamics of the CG has changed much too... Ppl have joined, ppl have left... Ppl have stagnanted, ppl have grown... But in all these, God is still in control. He's the God of all, He reigns... I feel that for myself... These coming few months left in this year is a time of shaping up the ppl... I'm going to enlarge my capacity... Not just the ppl in my connect group... But in the whole CG... N in my ministry... I want to help you to be a member of the church... Or at least ur character gets better, ur attitude towards things to improve...

I'm going to do my part in this CG... So if I call up ur ppl n disciple them... Dun get angry with me k? If u dun like it, let me know... I'll leave those ppl under ur care alone... If you want me to help, let me know... I'll pray abt it n see who is willing to be discipled... Now is not a slacking time... It's a time of sowing, working... For those exam ppl, ur need to fight the zzzzzzzz monster, the spirit of lethargy, complancency, laziness, tiredness, arrogance... Study hard n shine for God... Ur future is in your OWN hands... Dun blame others if you dun do well... You got to take responsibility for ur own actions...

Just read Jan's blog... He quoted from Pst Mark Conner's 2nd day msg... Maturity doesnt come with age... It comes with responsibility... So to become matured, you GOT TO take on responsibility... And one who has been proven to be faithful will be given more... So avail urself as the 1st time... There are tons of things to be done. If you want to help and got nothing to do, let me know... I'll find for u... AS every member begins to avail themselves, the CG is bound to grow... So EVERYONE plays a part... STOP SLACKING WILL YOU??? BUT... If you're not willing, it's ok... Dun need to do things with a 'forced' attitude... There are many more willing ppl out there... I read somewhere in the bible that God uses willing ppl not able ppl... If you're willing and not able, God will make you able... But if you're able but not willing, God will not use you... So I pray for more and more willing ppl... Willing to go all the way for God... ALL the WAY... ALL the WAY... ALL... ALL... Are u one such person??? Look into ur heart and ask urself...

Addition to wishlist...

Oh ya, I need a new pair of sunglass!!! Yeah... Wanted to get a pair from BKK, but Ken says sunglass muz get good ones, to protect the eyes from the rays... So cannot get those fake kind... Later I go blind... Hahaha... Yeah, so I want a new pair of sunglass. The pair I using now is from Lillian, years back... Yep, treasured it much, but guess things will wear n tear... Oh ya, I dun like flimsy sunglass... Adidas one like not much support, I wore Ken's before... Dun like the feel... I prefer his oakley pair which his bro bought for him from Aust... Yeah...

So 3 things I can think of now...
1. sunglass
2. PSP with min 8gb memory card wif games n protective case
3. new hp... (yet to decide which one)

I'll continue thinking and adding... No need new bible, just got one last year... Hmmmmm... Dun mind SOT books, but dunno if going next year or next next year or next next next year ... ... ... Hmmmmmm, dunno if the syllabus will change... Hahaha...

Oh ya, clothes from Skin n ed hardy... Dun mind more of these... Hahaha...

I wanna lose some weight... Then I can showcase the clothes nicer... Hahaha...

My new nokia hp...

I wanna get a good phone... Hmmmmmm... More functions so that i can spend time exploring my hp... 2 years... so better have more things to play with... Hahaha...

Was just browsing the nokia website... E66 looks good... Not much details on N96. Think cos it's not here yet... So thinking between E66 and N96... Think wait for N96 to come out then can compare the prices and then look at the specifications...

And I cant get a new hp til end of Sep... So now it's just waiting and researching time ba... Let me know if you know of any feedbacks from ppl using E66 or N96 kk? Hee... Thanks...