Bye!!!!!

Hey ppl... I'm at the airport now... Walking ard til it's time to get on the plane... Chanced upon this place that has free terminals for internet access so decided to bid farewell to all before I leave...

This is really the 1st time that I am taking a plane - SQ plane on my own, hmmmm, with one other gal la... But I decided to not meet her before this... Try out doing things on my own... Yep... Am proud of myself... Left home on my own, took bus to the station and then train all the way here... Checked in my luggage... And later, I'll go board the plane on my own... Wished that my friends are here with me, but well, one has to learn to be independent... Heh...

So yep... This year has indeed been an interesting year... And it doesnt end here... I've went to bkk, batam, bintan and also msia in this year... And now to manila... Although it's all still in SEA, but i think this is the 1st time i've left the country so many times... Ken keeps saying that these are not considered chu guo... But well, I think he's jealous... Hahaha... Yeah... So to all my friends, do take care of one another and dun miss me...

it's really a very short trip... back on fri nite... Yep... So do help me take care of Ken... I think he'll be bored... Jio him out and pei him kk? Thanks guys... See ya soon...

this keyboard not nice to use... my wrist very tired... bye...

I'm leaving again....

This time to Manila... Short trip... Dunno why I dun seem to be spending my weekends in spore... Kinda tired... But well, I pray that my capacity will enlarge... And now towards the end of the year... I know that it's going to enlarge even even more... So just stretch me in the last quarter of the year... Slowly God, slowly... Hahaha...

God muz be thinking... This gal ah.. Wanna me to stretch still muz be at her rate... Haiyo... Hahahaha... Ok... I think I'm dreaming too much... Hahaha... Just letting my mind rest and relax a little... Feeling the headache coming cos too stressed...

Well well... On a more serious note... Pls take care of urself while I'm away... Especially my loved ones... If you're free, do give them a call, help me take care of them while I'm away... Not too long... Will be back on fri nite... departing on sun afternoon... So dun miss me too much... hahahaha... well, dun think i'll get anything from there... from wat i see, the schedule seems quite tight... not sure if i'll have any time to shop man... hahaha... Pray for safety for me... and that i'll be well... Yep... so take care... maybe when i'm back, i'll be able to see Nigel!!! Hahaha... If he comes out, pls can someone take the initiative to inform aunty for me??? If not she'll kill me when I return... heh... Oh ya, I got roaming... can still contact me hor...

Brokenness before growth

Finally managed to find some time to blog abt this before I fly off again... Last fri zone meeting, Jeremy shared something so simple what yet so true... Some takeaways from the meeting...

1) How to keep the fire always burning?
A) Word -- Revelation
B) Prayer
C) Holy Spirit
D) Mixing ard with more spiritual ppl (ppl of faith)

2) Where will the church be in 10 years time?
100,000 members worshipping in a stadium...

How can we reach there? We need to grow...

Growth STOPS when all of us become inward looking and self-centered. We cannot allow that to happen. We got to care abt others! How can we overcome inward looking and self-centeredness???

BROKENNESS

A heart that is broken by the grace of God... Having the fear of God.

Cos... ...

Without brokenness, you cannot
1) release the presence of God within you
2) touched by the presence of God
3) be used mightily by God

Make a decision today... That you'll be a steward of your talents and skills given to you by Abba Father... Let the love and generosity flow out of you... Only when the vessel is broken that the fragrance can fill the room... Come before God broken... That without Him, you are nothing and can do nothing... Yes, without Him, I'll lose the purpose of living...

Bintan Trip...

Yep yep... I just came back from my Bintan trip... We stayed in Bintan Lagoon Resort... It was quite relaxing... But the wet weather did dampen our spirits a little and the things which we could do was limited by it... But I slept very well there... The bed was real comfy... too bad i only to to sleep for a nite... Hahaha... I got a room to myself cos my roomie couldnt go as she couldnt finish her work in time for the meeting on Mon...

And weird was that I stayed in 3143... Level 3 of the east wing... I was the only gal in my group staying in the '1' side and only person in the group in the east wing staying on level 3... The rest were mostly on level 4. But I took care of myself well... Hee... Double locked my door everytime I reached back... So am very safe... Hahaha... See photos taken of my room...

View of my room from the front door...


View of my room from the backdoor...


The comfy beds...


The chatting area...


My bathtub...


My toilet...


View of my room with the curtains pulled back...


The 'balcony' area from inside my room...


View from my room's balcony?


Really liked my room, the blue bedsheets and all... The beach was on the other side of the corridor... So I didnt get the beach view, but i took a photo of it while walking to the lobby area for breakfast... Really nice view... But this photo doesnt do justice to it though... Well I took it with my hp... Didnt bring my cam there mah... Heh...

View of the beach from the hotel lobby level...


It was wet wet wet weather when we reached in the afternoon... Couldnt do much, we went to the villa to play games, indoor games, gt to know the ppl better... Yep... Thank God the sun came out on Sun morn so that we could play some beach games... We played captain's ball then beach volley... I dun like volley so didnt play that... I played the captain's ball.. was the one standing on the chair... Our team won!!! Hahaha... We had Jeremy and Ling Teck in our team, they're tall... Hahaha... Anyway, I fell off the chair at the start of the game and landed on the sand... Hahaha... But am ok... I lost my balance while reaching for the ball... Kekeke... Well, it's not that easy standing on a chair put into the sand on the beach lo... And with tall defender standing rite in front of u, it's dangerous... And when they accidentally kick ur chair... Woh... Dangerous man... Hahaha... But had fun... Although it was only 4 min... But our ppl were so tired after it... Too unhealthy le... Hahaha... Thank God I was assigned to stand on the chair... Hee... Dun needa run around... Wahahaha...

Then we washed out and checked out... I went over to my friend's room... The '0' rooms, the west wing... Their rooms more Zen... I dun think i'll go back there... Though the rooms are nice and all, but the hotel was quite inflexible... Didnt allow us to book bus in to bring us out... And with the rain, there was nothing to do... And the cab out costs $22! so ex... I feel Batam more worth it... Heh... Anyway, see photos taken below...

Room 1011...


From the backdoor...


Another angle...


Yep, we then booked a cab and went to pasar ole ole... Cos it seems to be the only shopping place ard... But it started raining and pouring again... Quite sian... But ok la... Last few hrs le... so muz maximise it... Think we took the ferry back and went home straight... too tired le... Reached home washed up and zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Hee... And today is a brand new week... :)

Next post will be on the Fri zone meeting... Didnt have time to blog abt it before I left... Powerful meeting... Those who didnt managed to go... It's such a waste... sad...

A more affordable bday present...

Hahaha... Ok ok, I know what I want le... I want a new wallet!!! Wahahaha... Yep, I just bought one in BKK, but well... It's a little small... Dun have enough slots for my cards... Not credit cards la, more of discount cards, membership cards... So I want a new wallet... A lasting one... The last one which my CG gave me was good... Hee...

Things I muz have in a wallet, coins compartment... Then lots of card slots... Think need to be a long wallet... But not too big... muz be able to fit into my lesportsac bag... hee... Hahaha... Design wise I'm quite alright... But dun want to flambouyant colours... N white... it gets dirty easily... Dun like... Hahaha...

Yep yep... that's abt all... I'll continue thinking... brainstorming for more ideas... This year has been really an enriching year... God is good... :)

How to keep the fire burning???

In every relationship, it's easy to let the fire burn out... But it's impt to let it continue to burn and ever stronger each passing day... Til the day when u pass away... This applies to relationships bet girl n boy n also bet man n God... It's the same... It takes commitment and great love... But the reward is sweet...

It saddens me to see ppl breakup or backslide cos the fire is no longer there... There are times in relationships that u just feel like giving up, feel like you dun want to put in any more effort cos u dun see the reward... But u muz rem that the reward is sweet... It's a journey together... In tough times, you gt to cling onto each other closer and walk thru it together. We all know that tough times is not forever, it's temporary and wat's best is that at the end of the day, you'll be closer with ur partner!

Press on! Persevere on! Hang on! The reward is near... :)

Bad habits movie review

I went to watch this movie last nite alone... Thank God I went alone and paid only $6. Hahaha... An artistic movie... And it started on time... I was a little late and missed a bit of the intro... but ok la, still managed to understand the story... And it was not in English!!! I also dunno wat language, but was just reading the subtitles...

It's mainly abt the story abt a nun... Mainly abt the life when she was in the church... She prayed to God... But her concept is so wrong la... She prayed for God to heal, to stop the rain... Then she torture herself to show God her sincerity... She drank vinegar, ate food with lots of salt, ate trash then fasted til she was warded... Haiyo... My God heals, but not by works... It's by faith! And it's God's sovereignity whether a person will be healed or nt; or whether the rain will stop or not... So wrong man... I pray that ppl in the theatre will know that this is not the way God moves...

Then at the same time there was a plump little girl whose mom is super skinny and she was made to lose wt, cos her mom found her too fat. They went to lots of clinics, paid lots but the gal is still the same... And she was scolded and all... This is so unhealthy... Haiz... In the end, the mom died... Cos she was too skinny... But kept working out and not eating to lose weight... Can faint...

The ending was also very abrupt... I dun understand... But anyway, it was a time of entertainment for that 1 hr 43 min...

Remembrance

I was in CHC Powerhouse @ HOG this morn... I began thinking of my leaders who've shared their lives with me over the past years... Looking back, I've been in church for 8 years! Wow!!! Hahaha... Nothing to boast abt as this is just a small part of the lifetime which I'll be spending in church...

The 1st CGL I came into contact with was Khen Theen... He continues to inspire me. A teacher by profession and a teacher indeed. Always patient and having resources to share... He is always reading a book which is always faith-building! Amazing. I look up to him as my teacher... :)

Then Edwin became my CGL when we multiplied. He taught me the importance of having goals in my life and working hard to achieving them. That period of time was the time which my christian foundations are laid.

Subsequently Javiny took over our CG. During her leadership, I learnt lots... How to be a helper and supporter and encourager... She never fails to encourage me and challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. I love her so much that I want to help her to grow the group... Her vision became mine... She always tell us to be Spirit led. Our CG vision was to be a group of Spirit led believers. She never tells me what to do. Always tell me to pray and seek God for myself and to be led by the Spirit to do the right thing.

It wasnt easy for her to lead our CG as she came in as our new CGL, not someone who rose up within the CG... Yep... But she did great... She was there when i go thru tough times. Always willing to lend a listening ear.

She was the one who trained Ken up to be a CGL. Here he is, 4 years into this ministry. She gave Ken the stronger members during multiplication, and a great helper to her, she gave me to his group. To be his helper instead. Ken has always felt indebted to her... Like she gave him the opportunity and all... Discipled him...

I still remember, there was one day which she asked me to do some PA for her which I turned down cos it was our anniversary... Not exactly anni as in Feb but one of the month's 10th. She was nt angry or upset that I refused to help, but she given bought a $40 voucher for us to go and makan... Ken was still in army then... And I remember that place... Holland Village, English Rose Cafe... I really felt so blessed.

She also blessed us $$$ when we went for our 1st mission trip... That was after we multiplied!!! She's always so giving and I feel she really played a part in ensuring that our relationship works out fine.

She's my sis... An elder sis whom I nvr had... I love her lots and pray for her everyday that her business will do well...

Then we multiplied and Ken became my CGL. Hmmmm... How has it been being in the same CG as Ken? Hmmmm... I guess it's fine... Hahaha... I'm still his helper... I try to relax if the other ppl in the CG are willing to rise up. But I can and will come in and put my hands to the plough and get things done when they arent moving... I train up more disciplers and help disciple the members... Ken treat me as a member of the CG, it's more like us leading the CG together... But he doesnt talk to me abt issues abt me which he feels is not rite or I didnt do things rite... I share this burden with him and encourage him... This has been so for over the past 4 years and I dun think it'll change...

Well... This post is a post for me to remember the leaders (CG side) who have been part of my walk with God... I pray for everyone of them to be ever on fire for God, like how they've always preached to me when I was younger in the Lord... God bless u all... :) Hugs...

Our relationship has matured....

I was lying in bed last nite and thinking of all the things which we have bought each other... He has always been the one who buy things for me... And I usually return by giving him favours, not really material things... Hmmmmm...

Think our 3rd month anni, he bought me a "Garfield" bracelet...
Then that Xmas he bought me a pop swatch watch...

I remember these very vividly cos his "good" buddy told me that he was short of a couple of dollars and borrowed money from him to buy the bracelet... And at Sec 3 these things cost quite a big percentage of our allowances... So was really really moved when he bought these things for me...

Subsequently, he also showered me with presents here and there... A bouquet of flowers during days in SA (v-day)... His friends were stunned... Cos just the day before he just said that flowers are a waste of money... Hahaha... so cute...

He also stunned me with a bouquet of flowers on our 10th anni... 4 days before v-day... He sent the flowers to my office... So sweet... Some ppl thot like v-day brought forward... Hahaha... But well... I still remember... That was my A-10 days... Then my A11 went to tell my MIC then she also came into the cave to talk to me and I think is to purposely look at my flowers one lo... An excuse... Haiz... Hahaha... So funny la...

Dear is a very practical person... He seldom buy flowers cos it's temporary... The latest present he gave me is the ring on my finger... It's really a heavy investment for him... 4-digit!!! Hahaha... I know that my dear really really loves me... I feel so so so blessed... Hahaha... I think all u attached ppl and married ppl are thinking thru all the nice things which ur bf and hubbies had done for u rite??? Hahahha... And those single ones are dreaming and imagining rite??? Wahahaha...

This relationship has gone thru lots... From the time when we are both in school where I've always helped him in... Cos he's too smart... Plays too hard cos he knows he has a gf who's diligent, hardworking... Hahaha... But it's true wat... Hee... Now, we're both working le... Amazing how God maintains this relationship... Really shen qi... Hahaha... My classmates marvel too... He comes for my class outing, I go for his... It's like I'm part of his class and he's mine too... We know each other's friends... We try to get each other to meet our closer friends, in school or work... Yep... Hee... We are a team... If u think of Ken, you'll definitely think of me... and if u think of me, u'll think of Ken... Rite rite??? Hee...

We're stepping closer and closer to our next phase of lives... Dear keeps teasing me that I cant wait to get married... haiz... so paiseh... It's not that I wanna get married soon... It's that I want to be closer to him everyday... Yep yep... Nowadays dunno why, keep missing him so much... He also... This is so weird... Hahaha... We're still trying to figure things out.... After 10 years++ but still have this longing... Really weird... I dun understand and cant explain... I wont try... Hahaha...

A new beginning soon???

Haiz... So sian... I wish I can be on leave everyday... Dun need to do any work... Y 3 years pass so slowly one... Hmmmmm... Not that slow, but the last few months seem so so so long... Haiz... There's got to be more that is out there for me...

And my dear dear... Still adjusting to his new work... Think for this young man, the transition is quite tough cos he has not worked before... Hmmmm... For a long time... He has worked temp as a telemarketeer and also some admin here n there, but not a few months kind of work... I also dunno how I can help him transit faster except to encourage him and support him... I think i said this in my last post... Well, things are still the same... Hahaha...

Been thinking a lot abt this relationship... How we been through these 10 years plus and whether by getting married earlier will be easier for us... We are spending so much time and effort arranging to meet... I was telling him imagine i can just tell him... I go home 1st and wait for u... Rest a bit then when he comes back I can serve him (assume I work shorter hours or my office is nearer home)... He closed his eyes and said smilingly, that sounds good... Hahaha... I wonder if our married lives will be like that.... Hee... Think daydreaming too much... Watching smiling pasta... "wei xiao pasta" It's a love romance serial for teenagers... But it's really funny and I've been really entertained by this couple... Some of the things I see us in it, so maybe that's why I like it... Hahaha... Dreaming... But that gal is too much a dreamer... Imagination super power... I not so kua zhang... hahaha... Yeah...

A year of enlarging indeed

Amazing... This year has really been an amazing year... I didnt know I could do so much... But with God's strength and grace of course... Hee...

I've been waking up early this week... I've overcame my peak period as a snr... I've gotten my CPA... Ermz, soon... Cos I have yet to reach my 3 years, but I've passed my CPA exams... Yeah... And soon I know that i'll get my driving licence by the end of this year as well...

Been spending lots of time with Ken but he still doesnt feel enough... Think cos his work requires lots of thinking... and he's always tired.. so he wants me to encourage him, strengthen him, support him that kind of thing? Yep... Missing him lots n lots... Despite spending so much time with him... Hahaha... Weird...

Even after so many years, we still feel sad when we have to part and go home... Yep... And i've nvr stayed over at his house before... It's the right thing to do... Yep... And to all the attached couples out there... It is NOT alright to stay over at each other's house. So change ur lifestyle. Dun u have ur own bed? Even now when he's my fiance, I dun stay over... And he doesnt come over to stay as well... This is so that we will treasure each other more next time when we are married... Yeap...

Each day I hope that it'll pass faster... Time seems to pass so slowly without Ken ard and too fast when Ken's ard... Haiz... Let's see... 10 years, 6 mths and 8 days... Well, this is short, compared to the no of years we'll be living together for the rest of our lives...

Anyway, I've started to look at ideas of planning our wedding... It wont be so soon, but it's nvr too early to start... Hee... do give me ideas if u have any kk? Hahaha... :)

Touching...

Was randomly surfing the net when I chanced upon this entry... Touching... I hope that Ken will carry me everyday in future too... Hahaha... He sure say I needa lose weight 1st... Haiz...

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore ..I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.

The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she
presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but
needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable
to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that
everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. >

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite
a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it
hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more . Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart . The small details of our lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,
you just might save a marriage.

- Author unknown -

TGIF

It's friday!!! Period. :)

Time is ticking out...

My predicted death date... Thursday, December 8, 2061... Seems like I'll die earlier than Ken... But that is based on some assumptions, that i'm normal, not optimistic, and wt is overweight... Hahaha... Nvm... Just a bo liao thing to entertain me for a few minutes...

My spirit leaps...

Been going for the morning prayer meetings... it's a struggle to wake up so early cos i'm not a morn person... But my heart is willing... And my mom has been waking me up... cos i set my alarm before she leaves home... So she thot i going office early... so she'll wake me up... heh...

Happy to be in the presence of God every morning... Overcoming my flesh and crying out to God to come and meet me, fill me, be with me thru each day... Luv our psts and church too, every morn will prepare nice nice bf for us... It's a bonus to me... I see our psts also love us lots, will think of our needs and how to meet them.

Most happy is that I can meet my dear every morning... Hee... Love being with him... I think we meet almost everyday... But I miss him even more each day as we part to go work... Hahaha... This is getting mushy... Ok ok... Ya, everyone, it's time to get back to work, or rather start the day of work... Jiayou!!!

Oh ya, CGM changed to Sun morn le... Cant sleep in... :( But well... I can meet God and my CG ppl... N especially my dear... Yeah...

Reflections...

Been taking things slower now... Trying to see things from a higher point of view... Helping to fine tune the ppl around me, who are open to my discipleship... N at the same time, working on my weak areas. Finding feedback from my leaders to improve myself. This process doesnt stop. If it stops or even slows down, it means my heart has grown cold... I pray that this will nvr happen... Like Qi, I got to guard my heart and mind... Doesnt mean that being church for a longer period of time means that I am shielded from all these temptations... Yep...

I went for the morning pm at HOG just now... Reached late, but the whole place was full.... Very nice place, but too small to contain everyone of us... I was standing but I really dun mind... The presence of God was so strong... So easy to get into the presence of God... I was weeping before God... Tears just kept flowing like beyond control.. I met Dev n we prayed for the CG... Can feel that she shares the burden... I pray that more ppl can rise up n be responsible, loving and the whole CG be united... Met a few other leaders there n some friends... Chatted with them n it was great fellowship... Spoke to Kelvin Chua, Rachael, Weemin, Khen Theen (my 1st CGL - a very inspiring man), Pst Tan! Yep, he asked me abt the PM on his way out of the hall. Saw Pst Zhuang, Pst Audrey and Pst Aries as well... Looking at them, it's like looking at a group of ppl who have grown up in the Lord together, closest of friends... I pray that next time when our youths have all started working, we will still see each other in church, and meet up once in a while, all still planted and doing their part for the house of God...

Went for breakfast with Dev at Delifrance then we parted at 10... Hahha... But it was great time spent together... I pray that the things I shared with her, she'll remember and begin to work on them...

Then took a bus to airport and on the way, I was observing the ppl ard me... Quite interesting... I think God's presence has taken away all the fatigue... Yep yep...

Going to meet Rach later... Miss her much... Havent seen her for some time le... I think we'll have fun later... Hahaha...

Was just chatting with Xing on the phone last nite... He just came back from MISSIONS!!! Hahaha... He's indeed a changed man... From the day I 1st saw him in SAJC... Wahahaha....

Was just telling Devina that we've been together for almost a month!!! We came together in Oct... So abt 10 months le... Time really flies... N the dynamics of the CG has changed much too... Ppl have joined, ppl have left... Ppl have stagnanted, ppl have grown... But in all these, God is still in control. He's the God of all, He reigns... I feel that for myself... These coming few months left in this year is a time of shaping up the ppl... I'm going to enlarge my capacity... Not just the ppl in my connect group... But in the whole CG... N in my ministry... I want to help you to be a member of the church... Or at least ur character gets better, ur attitude towards things to improve...

I'm going to do my part in this CG... So if I call up ur ppl n disciple them... Dun get angry with me k? If u dun like it, let me know... I'll leave those ppl under ur care alone... If you want me to help, let me know... I'll pray abt it n see who is willing to be discipled... Now is not a slacking time... It's a time of sowing, working... For those exam ppl, ur need to fight the zzzzzzzz monster, the spirit of lethargy, complancency, laziness, tiredness, arrogance... Study hard n shine for God... Ur future is in your OWN hands... Dun blame others if you dun do well... You got to take responsibility for ur own actions...

Just read Jan's blog... He quoted from Pst Mark Conner's 2nd day msg... Maturity doesnt come with age... It comes with responsibility... So to become matured, you GOT TO take on responsibility... And one who has been proven to be faithful will be given more... So avail urself as the 1st time... There are tons of things to be done. If you want to help and got nothing to do, let me know... I'll find for u... AS every member begins to avail themselves, the CG is bound to grow... So EVERYONE plays a part... STOP SLACKING WILL YOU??? BUT... If you're not willing, it's ok... Dun need to do things with a 'forced' attitude... There are many more willing ppl out there... I read somewhere in the bible that God uses willing ppl not able ppl... If you're willing and not able, God will make you able... But if you're able but not willing, God will not use you... So I pray for more and more willing ppl... Willing to go all the way for God... ALL the WAY... ALL the WAY... ALL... ALL... Are u one such person??? Look into ur heart and ask urself...

Addition to wishlist...

Oh ya, I need a new pair of sunglass!!! Yeah... Wanted to get a pair from BKK, but Ken says sunglass muz get good ones, to protect the eyes from the rays... So cannot get those fake kind... Later I go blind... Hahaha... Yeah, so I want a new pair of sunglass. The pair I using now is from Lillian, years back... Yep, treasured it much, but guess things will wear n tear... Oh ya, I dun like flimsy sunglass... Adidas one like not much support, I wore Ken's before... Dun like the feel... I prefer his oakley pair which his bro bought for him from Aust... Yeah...

So 3 things I can think of now...
1. sunglass
2. PSP with min 8gb memory card wif games n protective case
3. new hp... (yet to decide which one)

I'll continue thinking and adding... No need new bible, just got one last year... Hmmmmm... Dun mind SOT books, but dunno if going next year or next next year or next next next year ... ... ... Hmmmmmm, dunno if the syllabus will change... Hahaha...

Oh ya, clothes from Skin n ed hardy... Dun mind more of these... Hahaha...

I wanna lose some weight... Then I can showcase the clothes nicer... Hahaha...

My new nokia hp...

I wanna get a good phone... Hmmmmmm... More functions so that i can spend time exploring my hp... 2 years... so better have more things to play with... Hahaha...

Was just browsing the nokia website... E66 looks good... Not much details on N96. Think cos it's not here yet... So thinking between E66 and N96... Think wait for N96 to come out then can compare the prices and then look at the specifications...

And I cant get a new hp til end of Sep... So now it's just waiting and researching time ba... Let me know if you know of any feedbacks from ppl using E66 or N96 kk? Hee... Thanks...

Wishlist

I was out with Jean... Then she mentioned that our bdays are coming soon... Actually not so soon la... But well, it's nvr to early to start thinking of bday presents... Hahaha.... I wan a PSP... I keep snatching from Ken... It's hard to share... He keeps playing fighting games while I prefer puzzle games... Oh ya, a fully loaded PSP with a casing... Muz be specific... I'm not so particular abt colour... Hahaha... A large memory stick ==> > than 8gb...

Hmmmmm, what else... Dun really need shoes, accessories, bags... I have lots... Clothes... dun mind ed hardy ones... but it's not a top priority...

Let's see... I want a driving licence... And then a car... Hahaha... Instalments paid for... Hmmmmm... And a HDB flat... I not greedy, 4-room can le... But muz be high floor!!! Hahaha... N nice view if possible... And windy... yep... Dear was visualising it that day, he's just so cute... Hahaha...

Ok, what else... Hmmmm... My CPA... Seems like all these except the 1st one is quite unobtainable as presents for me... Hahaha... Oh ya... I want a hp... A new hp... NOKIA one... But havent decided on the model, cos my contract nt up yet... So didnt bother looking at it...

Think contract ending at the end of the year, last few days of Dec, but think 18 mth can renew and get new hp le... So just nice, end sep... Yep... So help me look out ya? I wanna good one... It's going to last me for another 2 years man... Was thinking of N96, but it's not out yet... So dunno what's it's like... Hahaha... Ya lo, so I want more gadget things... Dun really need iPod... Cos I got my receiever... Still works perfectly well... Amazing... Think I bought it in JC2... Hahaha...

Lent xing my spare hp, so had to find alt radio for my journey to office, if not i'll be bus sick by the time i reach office... so i'll listen to gelnn n fd on the way to work... And i'll sleep... yep... somehow, God will wake me up just in time for me to alight...

Movies movies and more movies...

Yep... I've been catching quite a number of movies recently... Hmmmmm... The bank job, red cliff 1, money no enough 2 and the mummy...

all quite nice except the ending to red cliff is a little disappointing? Yep... Caught money with dear on mon nite, mummy on tue nite... no movies today... cos going for bs...

I wanna do so much more things, but feel so restricted, so constrainted. Dunno why I have such feeling...

This is just a random post, not cos I'm too free, but I feel very confused... Hmmmmm... I dunno, it just feels weird... Hahaha...

Recently, there are lots of ppl who resigned... I wonder why I am still around... Hahaha... maybe that's why I feel so confused and so restrained... But i think I better stay put for now... Cos it's not time yet... This period of waiting is really quite intoxicating... Unbearable at times... I just hope it'll be over soon... Let time fly faster, faster... 2nd week into my secondment...

Things are going to change soon... Lots of things before the end of the year... This is getting a little uncontrollable and I dun like the feeling of losing control... But well, think sometimes we just have to let go and let God ba... Haiz... This feeling... Ok nvm, whining doesnt help... Just face it, qin! I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me... God is with me, who can be against me?! Yeah!!!

Fear not, for I am with you...

My dear is employed!!! Yeah... We've gone through another phase together... He blogged abt his feelings after he didnt get the job... Hmmmm... Interesting... Extracted a portion of it... Hahaha...

"I must confess something that the moment I decided to give that up, I was able to step into love with Huiqin again. Yea, we're in love but I always had some reservations as I didn't want my departing in the future due to the nature of work to be a big blow to her. it's like not daring to love someone cos you know that you have limited time. You dun want to build it up just to see it falling down. Well, after making the decision, I dared to love 100%. That's one major and immediate difference."

Yeah, so we're more in love now... Hmmmmm... Hahaha... Praying that we'll get the house, an ideal unit... If you can see it, you can have it... I believe n see it...

I remember that time after I graduated, I also took quite long to find a permanent job. I was doing temp here and there... Before I started my audit life in Oct... Time has flown... Dear has graduated and was at the same cross-road as me. I realised that as long as you enjoy ur job, it's no longer a chore or painful thing to go thru... So I know that Dear will do well and have fun there... As I look forward to another phase of our lives, I know that more changes will come before the year is up. But in all things, I will always remember that God is in control. Thus there is no need to be gan chiong spiders... It doesnt help... Fret no, and trust God... "Fear not, for I am with you... "

Submitting & Obeying... Teachability

This season of my life now is a little uncontrollable... Things are happening so fast... Hmmmmm.... But I know that this is like the 2nd half of the year already... And this is the year of enlargement for me... So things need to happen so that I can really expand my capacity... No time already, so muz faster come and so that I can stretch myself more... And after this year i will nvr be the same again... Able to cope with the stress and workload... I pray that I can do them well...

Recently i heard about some people whom I've discipled before and worked with being unwilling to change, unwilling to try out new things. I feel so sad... I know we all like to live in our comfort zone, but sometimes this is simply not the best thing to do. I pray that I will nvr come to a point where I am unwilling to change. I always remember Heb 13:17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you. Shaun shared this with me... I was so blessed by it and I always remember it and make it my aim to do this...

And I pray that my disciples will always remain teachable... STOP reasoning and defending yourself!!! Just change la, if not spend time to ponder over it. Why do you keep defending yourself?! If you dun want my advice, then dun put urself under my care. Cos I am accountable for your every action... Haiz... Why cant you make my life easier...

Ok... I see the pict now... God is expaning my capacity... Putting thorns into my life for me to overcome them... I will endure and survive... I will... And I am willing... ARGH!!!