Yesterday was an eventful day... Really can vomit blood... Think God is stretching me... My tolerance and how I deal with stress... Left office at around 2 yesterday... Erm... 2am... And now I'm at client's place le...
Really felt like crying yesterday, so sian... Wanted to hide one corner and just cry it all out then continue working... Haiz... So many times my eyes were filled with tears but I didnt cry in the end la... I was telling myself, I realised that my 'mental'is not that strong... THen I began to confess positively... I can do this with Christ. He is with me. He is mentally so strong. And I have Him within me. So I can do it. I need to go through this peak so that I become stronger mentally. I cannot give up so easily. I am strong. I want to overcome it. And so this went on for some time til I finally can say that I am an overcomer and this thing is not going to bring me down. Yeah! I won the battle!!! Hahaha...
Then also had a trying time trying to settle the jurong teams... Sally, meng n seow ping know abt it... Really vomit blood. THank God there were some shuffling of members n now the teams look more balanced and working... Faints... Hahaha... But I feel that it's really a time of stretching la... Last week when the preacher, cant rem is Pst Kong or Jeremy, :p. I was argh!!! Then I told God, I am willing to be stretched but slowly kk? Hahaha... So here it's coming... SO fast!!! Hahaha... God cannot wait too late if not I will start to protest... Hahaha... Slowly, slowly... I will be stretched!!! ENLARGE!!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Limiting Mindsets
Just came back from zone meeting some hours ago... Cant sleep cos thinking of lots of things... Got some many things need to do, so many things need to wrap up... But God has been really good to me. Depsite the peak, I have been working rather decent hours... Amazing man!!! Like I'll reach home much earlier than midnight kind? In fact 10+ was the latest, except today la, cos of zone meeting... Yep...
So my limiting mindset that it's the peak needs to go... Peak doesnt mean I have less time for God. Instead, He begins to multiply my time so much that I dunno what to do during office hours!!! Hahaha... I think I really enjoying my life now as a senior... God has blessed me with really good managers who are willing to guide me along... Anyway, I think thurs n fri had been really fruitful. Let's see wat happened in this week.
I was on MC on Mon, down with flu... So just slept. Then tues n wed i went down to client's. Decided to go back office on thu n on fri. I think mon also. Then tue prob go down client's... Yep, so was very distracted at client's place, cant do much work. On thurs, i went back office... Out of the 10 things i needed to do, i finished like 7? And went home at 8pm lo... Then today, I managed to submit a reporting... And also prepared FS for signing... Yep... So am very happy... And the reporting was done before lunch!!! It's like the dateline was today, but the work was done like last fri? Then waiting for review n stuff? So it's just so amazing...
So wat if i having peak now? I went off for leader's meeting on tue. BS with Nic on wed. Thu went home at 8pm... And fri at 730 for zone meeting... Tml I will be catching the svc, then attend sun morn svc then pm then dinner... So sun no need to do any work le... But I pray tml will be efficient... But I seem more free now than ever b4... It's really awesome to see God enlarging me... Wow!!!
Yep... And with the lesser time I spent with Ken, I still feel close to him... Heh... We'll call each other everyday la... And try to meet up but it's definitely much lesser these days... But I still think he's really so amazing also... Sleeping ridiculous no. of hrs but yet still going strong. Really inspire me to wake up my idea n work hard too. Jeremy was sharin abt mindsets today... Why ppl have failed r/s? cos they keep confessing it... I think for our r/s, we both feel that this r/s is of God. He has brought us together. We seldom quarrel but we do thrash out our thots. This morn i was just listening to the radio... Studies in US have shown that couples who dun quarrel but keep the probs to themselves die earlier... Oh man, I want to have a long life!!! So I wont suppress my feelings... I will speak it out n we'll resolve it. That's how we learn to work together and walk together... U'll become closer after a problem is resolved together cos there's one more common experience and u learn to slign ur thot process... :) Tip for better n longer r/s huh? Heh... More tips to come... Really luv my dear lots... Hahahaha... I think I crazy le... But he's really great... But sorry gals, he's taken... He's mine! Kekeke...
So my limiting mindset that it's the peak needs to go... Peak doesnt mean I have less time for God. Instead, He begins to multiply my time so much that I dunno what to do during office hours!!! Hahaha... I think I really enjoying my life now as a senior... God has blessed me with really good managers who are willing to guide me along... Anyway, I think thurs n fri had been really fruitful. Let's see wat happened in this week.
I was on MC on Mon, down with flu... So just slept. Then tues n wed i went down to client's. Decided to go back office on thu n on fri. I think mon also. Then tue prob go down client's... Yep, so was very distracted at client's place, cant do much work. On thurs, i went back office... Out of the 10 things i needed to do, i finished like 7? And went home at 8pm lo... Then today, I managed to submit a reporting... And also prepared FS for signing... Yep... So am very happy... And the reporting was done before lunch!!! It's like the dateline was today, but the work was done like last fri? Then waiting for review n stuff? So it's just so amazing...
So wat if i having peak now? I went off for leader's meeting on tue. BS with Nic on wed. Thu went home at 8pm... And fri at 730 for zone meeting... Tml I will be catching the svc, then attend sun morn svc then pm then dinner... So sun no need to do any work le... But I pray tml will be efficient... But I seem more free now than ever b4... It's really awesome to see God enlarging me... Wow!!!
Yep... And with the lesser time I spent with Ken, I still feel close to him... Heh... We'll call each other everyday la... And try to meet up but it's definitely much lesser these days... But I still think he's really so amazing also... Sleeping ridiculous no. of hrs but yet still going strong. Really inspire me to wake up my idea n work hard too. Jeremy was sharin abt mindsets today... Why ppl have failed r/s? cos they keep confessing it... I think for our r/s, we both feel that this r/s is of God. He has brought us together. We seldom quarrel but we do thrash out our thots. This morn i was just listening to the radio... Studies in US have shown that couples who dun quarrel but keep the probs to themselves die earlier... Oh man, I want to have a long life!!! So I wont suppress my feelings... I will speak it out n we'll resolve it. That's how we learn to work together and walk together... U'll become closer after a problem is resolved together cos there's one more common experience and u learn to slign ur thot process... :) Tip for better n longer r/s huh? Heh... More tips to come... Really luv my dear lots... Hahahaha... I think I crazy le... But he's really great... But sorry gals, he's taken... He's mine! Kekeke...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Sick again...
Today I think my flu came back, was sniffing and sniffing... Havent been very productive in these few days... Haiz... Got quite a lot of backlog to clear but really tired and super low efficiency... Haiz...
Think slept too little last nite... But I drank lots of water today... Think cleared my body le... I felt a little feverish and cold when I was going through my home door... Think gotta sleep early tonight...
Lots of changes have been passing through in my life... So many to cope... Haiz... Well I know this is going to expand me... Yep... I told myself i wanna stretch myself this yr... But when the responsibilities come... I tend to try to shirk away from it... God is telling me not to run... I can overcome it. I have to take it up in order to stretch myself... But it's so ARGHHH!!!! Just like how Moses felt... But God, But God, But God... But wat? U think I cant give you what u need? U think I cant sustain you? You think you're not able enough? Do you doubt my judgment?
I have chosen you. You always tell me that you are willing. You want to be a vessel through which I can move in the lives of the people around you. You want to be someone who impact the lives of the people in your area of influence. You want to make a difference in this world, this time and place which you are living in. But why are you trying to run when the opportunity comes? Why arent you receiving it with open arms and heart and mind? Why arent you thanking me for this chance?
God... God... God... This is too sudden... Too sudden... Too many changes... I want to... But...
No more buts... Just trust ME... I AM WHO I AM... I AM HAS SENT YOU...
Yes God... I will take up the mantle... I will... I want to... God, never let go, never leave me alone, not even for a split second. I cant do this alone... I cant... But with you, all things are possible... With you, there are no mountains which cannot be removed... With you, I am healed... You are my God, my ABBA FATHER... I love you...
Think slept too little last nite... But I drank lots of water today... Think cleared my body le... I felt a little feverish and cold when I was going through my home door... Think gotta sleep early tonight...
Lots of changes have been passing through in my life... So many to cope... Haiz... Well I know this is going to expand me... Yep... I told myself i wanna stretch myself this yr... But when the responsibilities come... I tend to try to shirk away from it... God is telling me not to run... I can overcome it. I have to take it up in order to stretch myself... But it's so ARGHHH!!!! Just like how Moses felt... But God, But God, But God... But wat? U think I cant give you what u need? U think I cant sustain you? You think you're not able enough? Do you doubt my judgment?
I have chosen you. You always tell me that you are willing. You want to be a vessel through which I can move in the lives of the people around you. You want to be someone who impact the lives of the people in your area of influence. You want to make a difference in this world, this time and place which you are living in. But why are you trying to run when the opportunity comes? Why arent you receiving it with open arms and heart and mind? Why arent you thanking me for this chance?
God... God... God... This is too sudden... Too sudden... Too many changes... I want to... But...
No more buts... Just trust ME... I AM WHO I AM... I AM HAS SENT YOU...
Yes God... I will take up the mantle... I will... I want to... God, never let go, never leave me alone, not even for a split second. I cant do this alone... I cant... But with you, all things are possible... With you, there are no mountains which cannot be removed... With you, I am healed... You are my God, my ABBA FATHER... I love you...
Prayer...
I need to pray more... More... Whatever I bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatever I loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven... Matthew repeated this so many times in his gospel. The 1st gospel of the bible... Mt 16 and 18...
And this is the key to the kingdom of heaven. Ppl, grasp it. We got to pray more... Bind and loose... Pray in groups of 2s or 3s, bind and loose... We got to pray, pray more... Then breakthroughs will come... Visions will become clearer... PRAY!!!
And this is the key to the kingdom of heaven. Ppl, grasp it. We got to pray more... Bind and loose... Pray in groups of 2s or 3s, bind and loose... We got to pray, pray more... Then breakthroughs will come... Visions will become clearer... PRAY!!!
Moving my tent...
I'll be serving every Sun in Jurong from Feb 08 onwards... A huge change... And very sudden... Like only 3 weeks notice... Hmmmm... Yep... As I was saying this year is going to be a year of enlargement for me. Even as I move from Expo and back to Jurong, I cant help but question God, Jurong is so much smaller, how can I rise up more leaders? How can I impact the lives of the ppl around me more? How can I enlarge? I guess God will reveal His plan along the way... I think moving to Jurong doesnt mean my time will be more freed up, instead I think I'll be more busy. I will be attending every Sat svc with my cg then serving every Sun afternoon... But the travelling time will significantly be cut down.
Even as I begin to take up the Jurong team, I want to pray more with them and really be a shepherd to every one of them. I know there are team ICs in place already, but I want to minister to the ppl, inspire them, challenge them and rise them up so that everyone can be a team IC. Maybe up to a level where team ICs can be rotated, and we can send them forth when the need arises. I dunno what else I can do. I know that ppl will be given a chance to rise up in Expo as I move over as I free up the space for them... Well well...
I pray that God will begin to show me... Maybe I will start to impact the ppl in my cg since Jurong teams are smaller. I really dunno, changes are so fast and so many now... I think I need to reset some goals... 2008 is not only a year of enlargement, but a year of changes... Rapid changes... Scary but exciting... One that has got to be faith-filled...
Even as I begin to take up the Jurong team, I want to pray more with them and really be a shepherd to every one of them. I know there are team ICs in place already, but I want to minister to the ppl, inspire them, challenge them and rise them up so that everyone can be a team IC. Maybe up to a level where team ICs can be rotated, and we can send them forth when the need arises. I dunno what else I can do. I know that ppl will be given a chance to rise up in Expo as I move over as I free up the space for them... Well well...
I pray that God will begin to show me... Maybe I will start to impact the ppl in my cg since Jurong teams are smaller. I really dunno, changes are so fast and so many now... I think I need to reset some goals... 2008 is not only a year of enlargement, but a year of changes... Rapid changes... Scary but exciting... One that has got to be faith-filled...
Monday, January 21, 2008
I'm sick and this is sick...
Am on MC today n I totally K.O. Thought can do some work but just slept and slept... Anyway, I found another sick clip... Haiz... How come they keep coming across my path?!
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=pam_kfc_long
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=pam_kfc_long
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Mixed feelings...
We're moving to Jurong Sat svc!!! Yeah!!! It's really so much nearer and I think the timing is good, like I can still have my driving in the morn then go down for svc... But... I'll be still serving in Expo for the time being til someone rises up to begin to lead the teams. So rise up u ppl...
But I will be leading Sun Jurong teams aft i shift back to jurong... In 2008, i want to train up new leaders, ppl who can give it all for God... Whether in CG or in ministry, that's what I want to impart. In future, i know that they'll do greater things than I am. But at least, i have challenged them while they are still young.
Moving back to serve in Jurong brings back many fond memories... Those days of serving with Shaun, Jacelyn, Sherene... And subsequently, my own team of ppl - Angela, Wendy, Annie... ... But as I begin to look back at the days I have spent in expo. I am happy to say that i have trained up some leaders. Audrey, Linda and even all the team ICs now... I have inspired them, challenged them to step out and do even greater things for God. I am happy. But I have to move on. Put all these behind me, all the things which I have done, the accomplishments and move on. Begin to lead new ppl, ppl I have nvr met b4, I have nvr have close contact with before... It's really a new start... And I will begin to pray and ask God to teach me how to challenge this new group of ppl... I want to make a difference in their lives. I want to be someone to trains up new leaders... I want to... I want to...
But I will be leading Sun Jurong teams aft i shift back to jurong... In 2008, i want to train up new leaders, ppl who can give it all for God... Whether in CG or in ministry, that's what I want to impart. In future, i know that they'll do greater things than I am. But at least, i have challenged them while they are still young.
Moving back to serve in Jurong brings back many fond memories... Those days of serving with Shaun, Jacelyn, Sherene... And subsequently, my own team of ppl - Angela, Wendy, Annie... ... But as I begin to look back at the days I have spent in expo. I am happy to say that i have trained up some leaders. Audrey, Linda and even all the team ICs now... I have inspired them, challenged them to step out and do even greater things for God. I am happy. But I have to move on. Put all these behind me, all the things which I have done, the accomplishments and move on. Begin to lead new ppl, ppl I have nvr met b4, I have nvr have close contact with before... It's really a new start... And I will begin to pray and ask God to teach me how to challenge this new group of ppl... I want to make a difference in their lives. I want to be someone to trains up new leaders... I want to... I want to...
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Guys... Haiz...
Guys are just guys... Wedding band and engagement ring are 2 different things lo... Engagement ring will have a big diamond on it... (no need too big, but muz can be seen kind?) Wedding band is a simpler band which is the signet ring for a marriage, an union of 2 ppl...
Is engagement ring impt??? YES!!! Cos if there's going to be any diamond ring a man will buy for his gal, it'll most probably be the engagement ring... Haiz... They are not the same!!! Haiz... It's not taught in textbook doesnt explain that you wont abt it lo... Haiz... God, pls educate all the men in the world! Argh... Haiz...
One ex ring Vs 2 cheap rings... What would it be? I want 2 ex rings... Hahaha... I want a diamond ring and a simpler wedding band... I am a greedy person... Heh... I think all gals will be like me lo... Rite rite???
Is engagement ring impt??? YES!!! Cos if there's going to be any diamond ring a man will buy for his gal, it'll most probably be the engagement ring... Haiz... They are not the same!!! Haiz... It's not taught in textbook doesnt explain that you wont abt it lo... Haiz... God, pls educate all the men in the world! Argh... Haiz...
One ex ring Vs 2 cheap rings... What would it be? I want 2 ex rings... Hahaha... I want a diamond ring and a simpler wedding band... I am a greedy person... Heh... I think all gals will be like me lo... Rite rite???
Update...
It's been some days since I updated... Hahaha... Yep, getting quite busy le... But still quite alright... Like I left office at 5pm today? No, I didnt tender... But I brought work back home to do la... Yep yep... Really very thankful to God. Even as I start this peak, I was quite fearful like datelines cant meet... My mgr not going to help me and stuff... I think all the horrid stories that my ex-snrs or snrs told me begin to start coming back to my remembrance and no doubt fear crept in as well. But as I begin to trust God and continue seeking Him 1st, I realised that I am actually ahead of time!
For eg... I booked 1 1st yr assistant to complete 2 cos for 5 days. He finished in 3 days and 1/2 day more for doing the admin! Then another 1st yr assistant, I booked for 3 days and we finished the job in 2 days! So it's been amazing la... Even for myself. I havent been working very very late unlike my colleagues... I can meet Ken and stuff during the week... The latest I've stayed was like 145? Hmmm... Cos I waited for my friends to share cab back. I could have left at midnite... Yep... So it's quite amazing how this peak has been going... Heh...
Today another colleague just served his last day. Somehow, the feeling of sadness is no longer that strong... Not that he's not close to me, in fact, he's quite close... Nice guy, always willing to guide me along... Gave me tips on survival in long run... But somehow, there's a drive inside me which tells me to stay focussed. Another of my mgr just tendered also... Think she working til end feb... Haiz... quite sad... another nice mgr leaving...
Oh ya, then i dunno if i stepped on the toes of another mgr... Haiz... The story goes like this... I was 'unassigned' on tues. THen I signed in lo... So ganna called to go help this mgr go client's place n do analytical for 2 cos... So I went... Realised it was quite difficult to pluck in the figures, but I managed to eventually... But only finished 1 co. So sent back to her... Then she asked me to cont the next day, but I couldnt cos I got my own job le... So I told her cannot... Anyway there was so haggling la... Thinking that I shouldnt be so nice to her la, I will ganna bullied lo... So I decided not to give in... And in the end, I managed to push back to her... Then subsequently, I realised that she'll be my MIC for the 2 jobs that I had with the mgr who's going to leave in end feb... So I dunno wat I just did la... Can someone like kill me??? Haiz... So hopefully she will not remember that incident... Haiz... Can faint man... So the story here is... Be nice to all mgrs, u nvr know when they'll become ur MIC... Haiz... So praying that everything will run smoothly... I'm comtemplating whether to avail myself next week to finish up that job... Haiz... Not easy to do leh... Though the client is super nice... Haiz... How???
Oh ya, project Hong Kong, for those ppl involved, can u all pls like reply my email??? Reply to all so that everyone knows... Ermz... Like wat's the status? I need ideas man... U wanna help, then go all out k? If not, I'll rather keep the ppl in the loop as small as possible... Yep... So let me know by this week kk? Not much time left le, lots of details to think thru, need to fine-tune it also...
For eg... I booked 1 1st yr assistant to complete 2 cos for 5 days. He finished in 3 days and 1/2 day more for doing the admin! Then another 1st yr assistant, I booked for 3 days and we finished the job in 2 days! So it's been amazing la... Even for myself. I havent been working very very late unlike my colleagues... I can meet Ken and stuff during the week... The latest I've stayed was like 145? Hmmm... Cos I waited for my friends to share cab back. I could have left at midnite... Yep... So it's quite amazing how this peak has been going... Heh...
Today another colleague just served his last day. Somehow, the feeling of sadness is no longer that strong... Not that he's not close to me, in fact, he's quite close... Nice guy, always willing to guide me along... Gave me tips on survival in long run... But somehow, there's a drive inside me which tells me to stay focussed. Another of my mgr just tendered also... Think she working til end feb... Haiz... quite sad... another nice mgr leaving...
Oh ya, then i dunno if i stepped on the toes of another mgr... Haiz... The story goes like this... I was 'unassigned' on tues. THen I signed in lo... So ganna called to go help this mgr go client's place n do analytical for 2 cos... So I went... Realised it was quite difficult to pluck in the figures, but I managed to eventually... But only finished 1 co. So sent back to her... Then she asked me to cont the next day, but I couldnt cos I got my own job le... So I told her cannot... Anyway there was so haggling la... Thinking that I shouldnt be so nice to her la, I will ganna bullied lo... So I decided not to give in... And in the end, I managed to push back to her... Then subsequently, I realised that she'll be my MIC for the 2 jobs that I had with the mgr who's going to leave in end feb... So I dunno wat I just did la... Can someone like kill me??? Haiz... So hopefully she will not remember that incident... Haiz... Can faint man... So the story here is... Be nice to all mgrs, u nvr know when they'll become ur MIC... Haiz... So praying that everything will run smoothly... I'm comtemplating whether to avail myself next week to finish up that job... Haiz... Not easy to do leh... Though the client is super nice... Haiz... How???
Oh ya, project Hong Kong, for those ppl involved, can u all pls like reply my email??? Reply to all so that everyone knows... Ermz... Like wat's the status? I need ideas man... U wanna help, then go all out k? If not, I'll rather keep the ppl in the loop as small as possible... Yep... So let me know by this week kk? Not much time left le, lots of details to think thru, need to fine-tune it also...
Monday, January 14, 2008
Horrors!!!
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=fur_farm
Faints... I literally was screaming when I was watching this... This is plain cruelty... You got to watch it for yourself la... Just imagine u're the animal... Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!! Eeeekkkksss...
Faints... I literally was screaming when I was watching this... This is plain cruelty... You got to watch it for yourself la... Just imagine u're the animal... Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!! Eeeekkkksss...
A short day....
Haha... today came back early to rest... Hmmm, not exactly rest... Brought work home to do... I left my assistant alone at the client's place again... Hahaha... Not the same assistant la... Different jobs also.. This one is in town, orchard. So i think not that bad la... Anyway, as usual, i tell them to call me if they got any problems... Heh... But I guess, there gt to be a balance some where... Promoted doesnt mean that i can dun work, boss ppl ard... But it means i got to change the way things are done... Work smarter... Then i can go thru this year... Yep...
Was talkin to Jean last nite... Felt much better aft all that rattling and sobbing... Hahaha... Yep, was crying last nite... Haiz... Felt so sian... Just read thru my last entry abt my frustrations... It's really from my heart... Exactly what I feel... Hope that u ppl out there reading will begin to set things rite at the start of this year... :)
Going to sleep early tonight... Need the rest... So now back to work... So that I can finish b4 8pm then sleep... Hahaha... Maybe 9... hmmm... i wanna watch the 9pm show... And the 10pm one... Opps... Heh... I think i faster finish review then 730 go nap til 9... Then watch til 11 then sleep... Hmmm... wat a gd plan... Qin, you're so smart! Hahhaa... I think i siao le... Whahaha... TOday's a happy day cos I saw Ken n had dinner with him... Hee...
But my dear so ke lian, he now in sch rushing his fyp... Was planning to stay over also to rush... But i cannot pei him le... need to work... need to earn money to yang jia... Haiz... My dad told me my mom just quit... needa give her more money to spend le also... But but... I also very tight... Haiz... God, you gotta provide!!! I wanna be a blessing... I wanna be a generous giver... So what if i earn more than 3k a month? the net pay is less than 3k of cash lo... with more than 25% of my cash going to an eternal purpose... and a few percents for paying bills, giving to parents, savings, transport, food, weddings, bdays, driving lessons... It has turned into a deficit!!! Oh no!!! Hahaha... God will make a way, where there seems to be no way... I think today I not making sense... Should blog when I am angry and frustrated... Those posts show more abt my inner thots... HAhaha... Hope to update again soon... I go listen to music n work le... Oh no... 14 min to 730 le... muz quick quick...
Was talkin to Jean last nite... Felt much better aft all that rattling and sobbing... Hahaha... Yep, was crying last nite... Haiz... Felt so sian... Just read thru my last entry abt my frustrations... It's really from my heart... Exactly what I feel... Hope that u ppl out there reading will begin to set things rite at the start of this year... :)
Going to sleep early tonight... Need the rest... So now back to work... So that I can finish b4 8pm then sleep... Hahaha... Maybe 9... hmmm... i wanna watch the 9pm show... And the 10pm one... Opps... Heh... I think i faster finish review then 730 go nap til 9... Then watch til 11 then sleep... Hmmm... wat a gd plan... Qin, you're so smart! Hahhaa... I think i siao le... Whahaha... TOday's a happy day cos I saw Ken n had dinner with him... Hee...
But my dear so ke lian, he now in sch rushing his fyp... Was planning to stay over also to rush... But i cannot pei him le... need to work... need to earn money to yang jia... Haiz... My dad told me my mom just quit... needa give her more money to spend le also... But but... I also very tight... Haiz... God, you gotta provide!!! I wanna be a blessing... I wanna be a generous giver... So what if i earn more than 3k a month? the net pay is less than 3k of cash lo... with more than 25% of my cash going to an eternal purpose... and a few percents for paying bills, giving to parents, savings, transport, food, weddings, bdays, driving lessons... It has turned into a deficit!!! Oh no!!! Hahaha... God will make a way, where there seems to be no way... I think today I not making sense... Should blog when I am angry and frustrated... Those posts show more abt my inner thots... HAhaha... Hope to update again soon... I go listen to music n work le... Oh no... 14 min to 730 le... muz quick quick...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Fall in this place
Intro: E C#m7 B F#
Verse 1
B E
Take me to the place lord
G#m7 E
Where there’s nothing else but me and you
B
longing for your presence
E G#m7 E
I know that you’re calling me to you
Pre chorus
F#
Here I stand
G#m7 E
And longing for your embrace
F# G#m E
Nothing else could ever take your place
Chorus
B F#
Come holy spirit, fall in this place
G#m7 E
I need more and more of you
B/D# F#
Fill me again with the power of your Spirit
C#m7 G#m7 F#
Lord I’m crying out for more and more of you
E C#m B F#
Bridge
E C#m7 G#m7 E
Lord I’m crying out for more and more of you
Frustrated...
I have been thinking... Why is it so difficult to get ppl to be committed for svc n cg? And coming on time, coming early... Why is it so difficult? Why did I even bother to rush down every Sun morning all the way to expo when i know that I can always go to the Jurong one cos it's nearer? I begin to ask God to show me... I remembered... This is called the fear of the Lord... And the love for God...
We always say that we love God, always say that I want to serve you and obey you in everything that we do. But how many ppl can really say that they have done that and that they are still doing it? Ask yourself... Are you more and more in love with God each day? Can the ppl ard you see the love you have for God? Is it evident? Wait... I'm not asking you to put up a show for ppl to see... But i think actions really speaks louder than words... All the things which you tell God, are you serious abt getting them done? Have you taken some things for granted along the way?
I begin to question myself, why does the cg feels so dead... Why are things not happening? Why are things not being done? How come results of things are different? God begins to reveal... Cos these ppl are satisfied where they are, they do not have a strong desire to breakthrough... That's why things are not happening... It's always the same old reasons that they say... My parents, my school, my project, my work... Come on la... Who dun have parents? If not parents then my guardian... Who dun have to go sch or work? Does that mean that students and working ppl cannot come church? Cannot serve God? Only ppl who have nothing better to do, they'll be in church... HELLO!!! Can you pls wake up your idea? You are the one who is not breaking through... ANd you look at other ppl who can make it and say these ppl muz have nothing to do that's why they can do the things that they are doing... HOW WRONG and HOW SAD...
You are really really stuck... Unless God comes and bring a miracle... I think u no hope le... Hahaha... Ok, enough of my extreme analogy... But I feel that it's really quite sad... You're stuck in a rut... ANd you are happy that you remain there, cos it's your comfort zone... But come on la... You want to drink milk all the rest of your life? Can you like pls wake up your idea and grow up? Make a decision... The year has just started, you can afford to stretch yourself a little... If you really want that breakthrough, pray! Fast! And then ACT!!! It doesnt stop at telling others abt your problem only... you are the problem solver!!!
Haiz... Just feel so frustrated... So drained, so tired, so discouraged and so sian... I think its the nite terror.. Hahaha... Tml back to work... God, renew my mind... Help me to begin to enjoy going to work... Help me to go thru each day happily... And give me good health during this season of my life... I do not ask for easier year, but I pray that your grace fill my life more and more such that it will not be so painful to go thru this year... ANd God, bring increase and dis-satisfaction to the cg... Even single one of us, not just the cgl and some members... But EVERY SINGLE ONE to start to have the FEAR of GOD in their lives that we want to walk rite with GOD, we want a breakthrough in the group... Where every member is an abled person, who can go for missions anytime... This then is an army of God... Ppl who are trained and ever ready to go all out for God...
In the 1st CGM of the year, God spoke to me that He is going to pour new wine into our CG... But only those ppl who have new wineskin will be able to receive this new wine... For those with old wineskin, they will not be able to contain the next flow of wine... And that we need to raise up ppl who have renewed mindset... And for now, these 1st few months, it's a time to help as many ppl in the cg as possible to begin to trade in their old wineskin... This is something which cannot be forced, if you want the new wine, you got to be the one trading in the old wineskin for the new one... You cannot appoint a proxy... God, teach me to inspire, help me to impart that things will start to change for the better in the cg... Only you can cause a change... I do not know how, but God i'm willing to be trained and train.... Teach me, guide me, take my hand and bring me there...
We always say that we love God, always say that I want to serve you and obey you in everything that we do. But how many ppl can really say that they have done that and that they are still doing it? Ask yourself... Are you more and more in love with God each day? Can the ppl ard you see the love you have for God? Is it evident? Wait... I'm not asking you to put up a show for ppl to see... But i think actions really speaks louder than words... All the things which you tell God, are you serious abt getting them done? Have you taken some things for granted along the way?
I begin to question myself, why does the cg feels so dead... Why are things not happening? Why are things not being done? How come results of things are different? God begins to reveal... Cos these ppl are satisfied where they are, they do not have a strong desire to breakthrough... That's why things are not happening... It's always the same old reasons that they say... My parents, my school, my project, my work... Come on la... Who dun have parents? If not parents then my guardian... Who dun have to go sch or work? Does that mean that students and working ppl cannot come church? Cannot serve God? Only ppl who have nothing better to do, they'll be in church... HELLO!!! Can you pls wake up your idea? You are the one who is not breaking through... ANd you look at other ppl who can make it and say these ppl muz have nothing to do that's why they can do the things that they are doing... HOW WRONG and HOW SAD...
You are really really stuck... Unless God comes and bring a miracle... I think u no hope le... Hahaha... Ok, enough of my extreme analogy... But I feel that it's really quite sad... You're stuck in a rut... ANd you are happy that you remain there, cos it's your comfort zone... But come on la... You want to drink milk all the rest of your life? Can you like pls wake up your idea and grow up? Make a decision... The year has just started, you can afford to stretch yourself a little... If you really want that breakthrough, pray! Fast! And then ACT!!! It doesnt stop at telling others abt your problem only... you are the problem solver!!!
Haiz... Just feel so frustrated... So drained, so tired, so discouraged and so sian... I think its the nite terror.. Hahaha... Tml back to work... God, renew my mind... Help me to begin to enjoy going to work... Help me to go thru each day happily... And give me good health during this season of my life... I do not ask for easier year, but I pray that your grace fill my life more and more such that it will not be so painful to go thru this year... ANd God, bring increase and dis-satisfaction to the cg... Even single one of us, not just the cgl and some members... But EVERY SINGLE ONE to start to have the FEAR of GOD in their lives that we want to walk rite with GOD, we want a breakthrough in the group... Where every member is an abled person, who can go for missions anytime... This then is an army of God... Ppl who are trained and ever ready to go all out for God...
In the 1st CGM of the year, God spoke to me that He is going to pour new wine into our CG... But only those ppl who have new wineskin will be able to receive this new wine... For those with old wineskin, they will not be able to contain the next flow of wine... And that we need to raise up ppl who have renewed mindset... And for now, these 1st few months, it's a time to help as many ppl in the cg as possible to begin to trade in their old wineskin... This is something which cannot be forced, if you want the new wine, you got to be the one trading in the old wineskin for the new one... You cannot appoint a proxy... God, teach me to inspire, help me to impart that things will start to change for the better in the cg... Only you can cause a change... I do not know how, but God i'm willing to be trained and train.... Teach me, guide me, take my hand and bring me there...
Interesting Wedding dinner...
Just came back from Jelaine n Ziwei's wedding... Interesting, quite different... Got one side is the normal chinese dinner and the other side is western, where we go n take food ourselves like the matrimony kind of style... So quite different...
Even as Ken and I were there, we started thinking abt our wedding... I think that's the typical thing u talk abt as a couple in a wedding... Like good ideas, we adopt, things which didnt turn out well, we'll shelf it... Yep, so we thot abt having just the matri. But I think my parents wont like it... Then he wanted honeymoon wedding which i dun want... Hmmm... Well, at the end of the day, it was just something to entertain ourselves for that few hours there... Yep... So not thinking abt it for now... Lots of things on hand that I will need to settle... Faints...
God, give me greater capacity!!! I need to enlarge to cope with the increased stress... I need guidance on what to do... So tired... Sometimes i wonder, why do i need to work so hard??? Haiz... Really tired... God, help me endure this year, help me to begin to enjoy this year... Even as my capacity is stretched, let it be done in such a way that i can spend time with Ken, my family, cg n my ministry ppl... Which is on top of my work... AARgggghhhh... Lots of things on hand and in my mind... Learning to delegate, having faith in the ppl but I am still the one responsible, so I need to ensure that things get done and turn out fine... It's challenging, very challenging...
Even as Ken and I were there, we started thinking abt our wedding... I think that's the typical thing u talk abt as a couple in a wedding... Like good ideas, we adopt, things which didnt turn out well, we'll shelf it... Yep, so we thot abt having just the matri. But I think my parents wont like it... Then he wanted honeymoon wedding which i dun want... Hmmm... Well, at the end of the day, it was just something to entertain ourselves for that few hours there... Yep... So not thinking abt it for now... Lots of things on hand that I will need to settle... Faints...
God, give me greater capacity!!! I need to enlarge to cope with the increased stress... I need guidance on what to do... So tired... Sometimes i wonder, why do i need to work so hard??? Haiz... Really tired... God, help me endure this year, help me to begin to enjoy this year... Even as my capacity is stretched, let it be done in such a way that i can spend time with Ken, my family, cg n my ministry ppl... Which is on top of my work... AARgggghhhh... Lots of things on hand and in my mind... Learning to delegate, having faith in the ppl but I am still the one responsible, so I need to ensure that things get done and turn out fine... It's challenging, very challenging...
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Weird Weekend...
Ken's away in a camp... Not reservist but a leadership training camp... Feels so weird without him around... Feel like nothing to do, no one to spend time with... Went out with Tam n Xing just now... Thanks for keeping me company... Sorry Tam that u cant do your work... :p Xing, it was good training rite? Anyway, we only walked B1, lvl 1 and 2 other shops in lvl 2 n 3 lo... That building has 7 floors + 2 basements lo... Hahaha... But it was fun la... :)
Even as ppl start to ask me abt the last post... It's interesting to see who still bother to find out wat u're doing, even as we are in diff cell le... And wanna be part of this phase of my life... Am touched... Thanks!!! I'll type the email n send u all soon... But I will miss Xing out... Dangerous guy... Hahaha... Ppl all say help me... He says wanna give Ken a call... Faints... Hahaha...
Yep, gt a general idea le... But I wont say much now... Hehe... Cos Ken will read too... Hahaha... N apparently Ken said we've talked abt it b4... But dunno if anything will come to pass though... Heh... So wait n see... 10 years coming le...
Even as ppl start to ask me abt the last post... It's interesting to see who still bother to find out wat u're doing, even as we are in diff cell le... And wanna be part of this phase of my life... Am touched... Thanks!!! I'll type the email n send u all soon... But I will miss Xing out... Dangerous guy... Hahaha... Ppl all say help me... He says wanna give Ken a call... Faints... Hahaha...
Yep, gt a general idea le... But I wont say much now... Hehe... Cos Ken will read too... Hahaha... N apparently Ken said we've talked abt it b4... But dunno if anything will come to pass though... Heh... So wait n see... 10 years coming le...
Monday, January 7, 2008
07012008 Proposing???
3 more days and it'll be 10 years less 1 month... Time really flies... Topics have changed... From school work and ourselves, to God and careers... From living with our parents to planning for our future home... Things have changed... Amazing how God has brought us thus far...
This year... 2008, I think there wont be much difference in this relationship... Even as the year begins... God is going to use us both in very different ways... And it's amazing to see how God brings 2 ppl who are so different together...
Was at a wedding dinner... Then we were just joking around... Then Aunty said that 2008 will be a year of changes... Not just the hairstyle, but something more than that... I knew what Aunty was talking abt, so I said change in status la... THen who knows, the arrow came back to me! Faints... Hahaha... Well, think weemin will go 1st... Cos Alan is working already... Heh... But see how it goes la... Not thinking of marriage in this year... Not next year either... Maybe 2 more years at least... So dun ask me le!!!
But 2008 is a leap year!!! Hahaha...
That day I was just listening to radio. They said leap year is the year where the gal proposes to the guy... Hahaha... I know that Ken is waiting for this... Hahaha... Maybe someone can help me with this... I got a date in mind le... Need to start planning if I am crazy enough to do it... So if u have nothing better to do n wanna make things happen - I propose to Ken instead... Call me and help me start planning kk? Thanks ah...
This year... 2008, I think there wont be much difference in this relationship... Even as the year begins... God is going to use us both in very different ways... And it's amazing to see how God brings 2 ppl who are so different together...
Was at a wedding dinner... Then we were just joking around... Then Aunty said that 2008 will be a year of changes... Not just the hairstyle, but something more than that... I knew what Aunty was talking abt, so I said change in status la... THen who knows, the arrow came back to me! Faints... Hahaha... Well, think weemin will go 1st... Cos Alan is working already... Heh... But see how it goes la... Not thinking of marriage in this year... Not next year either... Maybe 2 more years at least... So dun ask me le!!!
But 2008 is a leap year!!! Hahaha...
That day I was just listening to radio. They said leap year is the year where the gal proposes to the guy... Hahaha... I know that Ken is waiting for this... Hahaha... Maybe someone can help me with this... I got a date in mind le... Need to start planning if I am crazy enough to do it... So if u have nothing better to do n wanna make things happen - I propose to Ken instead... Call me and help me start planning kk? Thanks ah...
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Hectic Weekend...
This had been a crazy weekend... So tired... And it's mon tomorrow... Supposed to be at Ken's place, but I lazy to go over... Haha...
Been working for the weekend... Quite sad but at least I have looked through all the things before Mon starts... So quite happy...
Coming week will be out at client's place... I think I'll only be able to blog on weekends or holidays til my peak is over... Kekeke... Maybe it wont be as siong as previous years...
Cant wait for the year to end... Then it'll be a fresh start next year. Already planned what I need to do this year... Lots... Tons... But I know it's going to be exciting...
But sacrifices have to be made... God expand my capacity... Help me... The number one major difference will be that I will be spending much lesser time with Ken at least for this peak... Cos it'll be a peak where I'll not have a lot of things to do during normal time, while everyone else is working. But at times when ppl are not working, i will have to work... Yep yep... So Ken needs to be more understanding on this le ba... Not easy, cos have been so close with him, whenever i can, i will think of how to meet Ken... But now really so tired... So many things to think about that I cant be bothered to think how i can meet Ken, like intercept him to spend that one hour with him...
Things are changing in the ministry, with much more things in the pipeline. But thank God for available helpers... Who have asked to help out more... So they can really help me settle lots of things... And as they move up, they will also motivate the rest of the members to progress up too... Then everyone will begin to grow, even in the ministry... :)
In the CG, lots of things need to be taught... And I pray that God will reveal to me how to go about it... Need lots of wisdom and guidance cos it's different group of ppl whom I will be teaching.... Much younger in age... Challenging... Sometimes, I really feel like telling Ken that I want to take a back seat, let the younger ppl run... I feel so old, so tired, so stretched... But I will remind myself that I want this year to be the most fruitful year of my life. Making disciples. I begin to tell myself I can do it, God is with me. He will tell me how to teach, disciple... Cos these are His beloved too... And I begin to hold my words... God, I know you're stretching me... It's tough, but this is what I asked for. I know that you will bring me through... I dont know how. But the only things I can do for now is just trust in you. Put my faith in You... For you are my almighty God!
Trying to spend more time with my family as well... So trying to see how I can spend my sat at home... Cos my dad dun work on sat... My mom also will try to get alt sat off... But sat is a good day to hang out... So I think need to find a balance too...
2008, started the year feeling very tired... But at least I know that at the end of the year, I can look back n say... I have made it! And that will be the goal that keeps me moving through each day... One day at a time... Each day to its maximum and soon it'll be the end of the year and I can be proud of what God has done in my life for 2008... I can do it! With God, all things are possible... And ENLARGE what I can do for you in my lifetime... Especially this year... A quarter of century of my life already... Not that young anymore...
Been working for the weekend... Quite sad but at least I have looked through all the things before Mon starts... So quite happy...
Coming week will be out at client's place... I think I'll only be able to blog on weekends or holidays til my peak is over... Kekeke... Maybe it wont be as siong as previous years...
Cant wait for the year to end... Then it'll be a fresh start next year. Already planned what I need to do this year... Lots... Tons... But I know it's going to be exciting...
But sacrifices have to be made... God expand my capacity... Help me... The number one major difference will be that I will be spending much lesser time with Ken at least for this peak... Cos it'll be a peak where I'll not have a lot of things to do during normal time, while everyone else is working. But at times when ppl are not working, i will have to work... Yep yep... So Ken needs to be more understanding on this le ba... Not easy, cos have been so close with him, whenever i can, i will think of how to meet Ken... But now really so tired... So many things to think about that I cant be bothered to think how i can meet Ken, like intercept him to spend that one hour with him...
Things are changing in the ministry, with much more things in the pipeline. But thank God for available helpers... Who have asked to help out more... So they can really help me settle lots of things... And as they move up, they will also motivate the rest of the members to progress up too... Then everyone will begin to grow, even in the ministry... :)
In the CG, lots of things need to be taught... And I pray that God will reveal to me how to go about it... Need lots of wisdom and guidance cos it's different group of ppl whom I will be teaching.... Much younger in age... Challenging... Sometimes, I really feel like telling Ken that I want to take a back seat, let the younger ppl run... I feel so old, so tired, so stretched... But I will remind myself that I want this year to be the most fruitful year of my life. Making disciples. I begin to tell myself I can do it, God is with me. He will tell me how to teach, disciple... Cos these are His beloved too... And I begin to hold my words... God, I know you're stretching me... It's tough, but this is what I asked for. I know that you will bring me through... I dont know how. But the only things I can do for now is just trust in you. Put my faith in You... For you are my almighty God!
Trying to spend more time with my family as well... So trying to see how I can spend my sat at home... Cos my dad dun work on sat... My mom also will try to get alt sat off... But sat is a good day to hang out... So I think need to find a balance too...
2008, started the year feeling very tired... But at least I know that at the end of the year, I can look back n say... I have made it! And that will be the goal that keeps me moving through each day... One day at a time... Each day to its maximum and soon it'll be the end of the year and I can be proud of what God has done in my life for 2008... I can do it! With God, all things are possible... And ENLARGE what I can do for you in my lifetime... Especially this year... A quarter of century of my life already... Not that young anymore...
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
2008
Am one day late... Supposed to create this yesterday but was at Ken's place... Helping him pack so didnt have the time to do this...
2008 is a year which will enlarge me... Not in size, but in all other aspects... Namely capacity, abilities...
This will not be a comfortable year... But I think at the end of the year, i will be proud of the things i have done in this year... Quite exciting...
Will try to update as much as I can... Hahaha... I hope...
2008 is a year which will enlarge me... Not in size, but in all other aspects... Namely capacity, abilities...
This will not be a comfortable year... But I think at the end of the year, i will be proud of the things i have done in this year... Quite exciting...
Will try to update as much as I can... Hahaha... I hope...
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