Sick again...

Today I think my flu came back, was sniffing and sniffing... Havent been very productive in these few days... Haiz... Got quite a lot of backlog to clear but really tired and super low efficiency... Haiz...

Think slept too little last nite... But I drank lots of water today... Think cleared my body le... I felt a little feverish and cold when I was going through my home door... Think gotta sleep early tonight...

Lots of changes have been passing through in my life... So many to cope... Haiz... Well I know this is going to expand me... Yep... I told myself i wanna stretch myself this yr... But when the responsibilities come... I tend to try to shirk away from it... God is telling me not to run... I can overcome it. I have to take it up in order to stretch myself... But it's so ARGHHH!!!! Just like how Moses felt... But God, But God, But God... But wat? U think I cant give you what u need? U think I cant sustain you? You think you're not able enough? Do you doubt my judgment?

I have chosen you. You always tell me that you are willing. You want to be a vessel through which I can move in the lives of the people around you. You want to be someone who impact the lives of the people in your area of influence. You want to make a difference in this world, this time and place which you are living in. But why are you trying to run when the opportunity comes? Why arent you receiving it with open arms and heart and mind? Why arent you thanking me for this chance?

God... God... God... This is too sudden... Too sudden... Too many changes... I want to... But...

No more buts... Just trust ME... I AM WHO I AM... I AM HAS SENT YOU...

Yes God... I will take up the mantle... I will... I want to... God, never let go, never leave me alone, not even for a split second. I cant do this alone... I cant... But with you, all things are possible... With you, there are no mountains which cannot be removed... With you, I am healed... You are my God, my ABBA FATHER... I love you...