I was lying in bed last nite and thinking of all the things which we have bought each other... He has always been the one who buy things for me... And I usually return by giving him favours, not really material things... Hmmmmm...
Think our 3rd month anni, he bought me a "Garfield" bracelet...
Then that Xmas he bought me a pop swatch watch...
I remember these very vividly cos his "good" buddy told me that he was short of a couple of dollars and borrowed money from him to buy the bracelet... And at Sec 3 these things cost quite a big percentage of our allowances... So was really really moved when he bought these things for me...
Subsequently, he also showered me with presents here and there... A bouquet of flowers during days in SA (v-day)... His friends were stunned... Cos just the day before he just said that flowers are a waste of money... Hahaha... so cute...
He also stunned me with a bouquet of flowers on our 10th anni... 4 days before v-day... He sent the flowers to my office... So sweet... Some ppl thot like v-day brought forward... Hahaha... But well... I still remember... That was my A-10 days... Then my A11 went to tell my MIC then she also came into the cave to talk to me and I think is to purposely look at my flowers one lo... An excuse... Haiz... Hahaha... So funny la...
Dear is a very practical person... He seldom buy flowers cos it's temporary... The latest present he gave me is the ring on my finger... It's really a heavy investment for him... 4-digit!!! Hahaha... I know that my dear really really loves me... I feel so so so blessed... Hahaha... I think all u attached ppl and married ppl are thinking thru all the nice things which ur bf and hubbies had done for u rite??? Hahahha... And those single ones are dreaming and imagining rite??? Wahahaha...
This relationship has gone thru lots... From the time when we are both in school where I've always helped him in... Cos he's too smart... Plays too hard cos he knows he has a gf who's diligent, hardworking... Hahaha... But it's true wat... Hee... Now, we're both working le... Amazing how God maintains this relationship... Really shen qi... Hahaha... My classmates marvel too... He comes for my class outing, I go for his... It's like I'm part of his class and he's mine too... We know each other's friends... We try to get each other to meet our closer friends, in school or work... Yep... Hee... We are a team... If u think of Ken, you'll definitely think of me... and if u think of me, u'll think of Ken... Rite rite??? Hee...
We're stepping closer and closer to our next phase of lives... Dear keeps teasing me that I cant wait to get married... haiz... so paiseh... It's not that I wanna get married soon... It's that I want to be closer to him everyday... Yep yep... Nowadays dunno why, keep missing him so much... He also... This is so weird... Hahaha... We're still trying to figure things out.... After 10 years++ but still have this longing... Really weird... I dun understand and cant explain... I wont try... Hahaha...
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A new beginning soon???
Haiz... So sian... I wish I can be on leave everyday... Dun need to do any work... Y 3 years pass so slowly one... Hmmmmm... Not that slow, but the last few months seem so so so long... Haiz... There's got to be more that is out there for me...
And my dear dear... Still adjusting to his new work... Think for this young man, the transition is quite tough cos he has not worked before... Hmmmm... For a long time... He has worked temp as a telemarketeer and also some admin here n there, but not a few months kind of work... I also dunno how I can help him transit faster except to encourage him and support him... I think i said this in my last post... Well, things are still the same... Hahaha...
Been thinking a lot abt this relationship... How we been through these 10 years plus and whether by getting married earlier will be easier for us... We are spending so much time and effort arranging to meet... I was telling him imagine i can just tell him... I go home 1st and wait for u... Rest a bit then when he comes back I can serve him (assume I work shorter hours or my office is nearer home)... He closed his eyes and said smilingly, that sounds good... Hahaha... I wonder if our married lives will be like that.... Hee... Think daydreaming too much... Watching smiling pasta... "wei xiao pasta" It's a love romance serial for teenagers... But it's really funny and I've been really entertained by this couple... Some of the things I see us in it, so maybe that's why I like it... Hahaha... Dreaming... But that gal is too much a dreamer... Imagination super power... I not so kua zhang... hahaha... Yeah...
And my dear dear... Still adjusting to his new work... Think for this young man, the transition is quite tough cos he has not worked before... Hmmmm... For a long time... He has worked temp as a telemarketeer and also some admin here n there, but not a few months kind of work... I also dunno how I can help him transit faster except to encourage him and support him... I think i said this in my last post... Well, things are still the same... Hahaha...
Been thinking a lot abt this relationship... How we been through these 10 years plus and whether by getting married earlier will be easier for us... We are spending so much time and effort arranging to meet... I was telling him imagine i can just tell him... I go home 1st and wait for u... Rest a bit then when he comes back I can serve him (assume I work shorter hours or my office is nearer home)... He closed his eyes and said smilingly, that sounds good... Hahaha... I wonder if our married lives will be like that.... Hee... Think daydreaming too much... Watching smiling pasta... "wei xiao pasta" It's a love romance serial for teenagers... But it's really funny and I've been really entertained by this couple... Some of the things I see us in it, so maybe that's why I like it... Hahaha... Dreaming... But that gal is too much a dreamer... Imagination super power... I not so kua zhang... hahaha... Yeah...
Monday, August 18, 2008
A year of enlarging indeed
Amazing... This year has really been an amazing year... I didnt know I could do so much... But with God's strength and grace of course... Hee...
I've been waking up early this week... I've overcame my peak period as a snr... I've gotten my CPA... Ermz, soon... Cos I have yet to reach my 3 years, but I've passed my CPA exams... Yeah... And soon I know that i'll get my driving licence by the end of this year as well...
Been spending lots of time with Ken but he still doesnt feel enough... Think cos his work requires lots of thinking... and he's always tired.. so he wants me to encourage him, strengthen him, support him that kind of thing? Yep... Missing him lots n lots... Despite spending so much time with him... Hahaha... Weird...
Even after so many years, we still feel sad when we have to part and go home... Yep... And i've nvr stayed over at his house before... It's the right thing to do... Yep... And to all the attached couples out there... It is NOT alright to stay over at each other's house. So change ur lifestyle. Dun u have ur own bed? Even now when he's my fiance, I dun stay over... And he doesnt come over to stay as well... This is so that we will treasure each other more next time when we are married... Yeap...
Each day I hope that it'll pass faster... Time seems to pass so slowly without Ken ard and too fast when Ken's ard... Haiz... Let's see... 10 years, 6 mths and 8 days... Well, this is short, compared to the no of years we'll be living together for the rest of our lives...
Anyway, I've started to look at ideas of planning our wedding... It wont be so soon, but it's nvr too early to start... Hee... do give me ideas if u have any kk? Hahaha... :)
I've been waking up early this week... I've overcame my peak period as a snr... I've gotten my CPA... Ermz, soon... Cos I have yet to reach my 3 years, but I've passed my CPA exams... Yeah... And soon I know that i'll get my driving licence by the end of this year as well...
Been spending lots of time with Ken but he still doesnt feel enough... Think cos his work requires lots of thinking... and he's always tired.. so he wants me to encourage him, strengthen him, support him that kind of thing? Yep... Missing him lots n lots... Despite spending so much time with him... Hahaha... Weird...
Even after so many years, we still feel sad when we have to part and go home... Yep... And i've nvr stayed over at his house before... It's the right thing to do... Yep... And to all the attached couples out there... It is NOT alright to stay over at each other's house. So change ur lifestyle. Dun u have ur own bed? Even now when he's my fiance, I dun stay over... And he doesnt come over to stay as well... This is so that we will treasure each other more next time when we are married... Yeap...
Each day I hope that it'll pass faster... Time seems to pass so slowly without Ken ard and too fast when Ken's ard... Haiz... Let's see... 10 years, 6 mths and 8 days... Well, this is short, compared to the no of years we'll be living together for the rest of our lives...
Anyway, I've started to look at ideas of planning our wedding... It wont be so soon, but it's nvr too early to start... Hee... do give me ideas if u have any kk? Hahaha... :)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Touching...
Was randomly surfing the net when I chanced upon this entry... Touching... I hope that Ken will carry me everyday in future too... Hahaha... He sure say I needa lose weight 1st... Haiz...
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore ..I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she
presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but
needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable
to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that
everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. >
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite
a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it
hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more . Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart . The small details of our lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,
you just might save a marriage.
- Author unknown -
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand
and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to
open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my
words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are
not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I
knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I
could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a
lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore ..I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She
glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally
she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with
Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she
presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but
needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she
didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable
to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that
everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the
front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and
thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. >
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my
chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy
returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry
her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me
stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite
a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it
hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum
out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly,
it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the
door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not
want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other any more . Now I realise that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a
loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I
ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning
until death do us apart . The small details of our lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the
money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find
time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do,
you just might save a marriage.
- Author unknown -
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Time is ticking out...
My predicted death date... Thursday, December 8, 2061... Seems like I'll die earlier than Ken... But that is based on some assumptions, that i'm normal, not optimistic, and wt is overweight... Hahaha... Nvm... Just a bo liao thing to entertain me for a few minutes...
My spirit leaps...
Been going for the morning prayer meetings... it's a struggle to wake up so early cos i'm not a morn person... But my heart is willing... And my mom has been waking me up... cos i set my alarm before she leaves home... So she thot i going office early... so she'll wake me up... heh...
Happy to be in the presence of God every morning... Overcoming my flesh and crying out to God to come and meet me, fill me, be with me thru each day... Luv our psts and church too, every morn will prepare nice nice bf for us... It's a bonus to me... I see our psts also love us lots, will think of our needs and how to meet them.
Most happy is that I can meet my dear every morning... Hee... Love being with him... I think we meet almost everyday... But I miss him even more each day as we part to go work... Hahaha... This is getting mushy... Ok ok... Ya, everyone, it's time to get back to work, or rather start the day of work... Jiayou!!!
Oh ya, CGM changed to Sun morn le... Cant sleep in... :( But well... I can meet God and my CG ppl... N especially my dear... Yeah...
Happy to be in the presence of God every morning... Overcoming my flesh and crying out to God to come and meet me, fill me, be with me thru each day... Luv our psts and church too, every morn will prepare nice nice bf for us... It's a bonus to me... I see our psts also love us lots, will think of our needs and how to meet them.
Most happy is that I can meet my dear every morning... Hee... Love being with him... I think we meet almost everyday... But I miss him even more each day as we part to go work... Hahaha... This is getting mushy... Ok ok... Ya, everyone, it's time to get back to work, or rather start the day of work... Jiayou!!!
Oh ya, CGM changed to Sun morn le... Cant sleep in... :( But well... I can meet God and my CG ppl... N especially my dear... Yeah...
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